Learn To Love Again
by JamieKeshini
Summary: Cadet Jamie Turner is trying to graduate with honors, so she can work aboard her favorite ship, the Enterprise. Her favorite class is taught by a certain Vulcan science officer. What could possibly happen? I suck at summaries! *WARNING MAJOR INTO DARKNESS SPOILERS* Spock/OC. Oh, and just a warning, I'm a busy girl, so I'm a slow updater sometimes.. Life can overwhelm you!
1. Vulcan History

**AUTHOR'S NOTE PLEASE READ**

***WARNING. MAJOR SPOILERS FOR INTO DARKNESS!***

**Well this is my first Star Trek fanfic. For those of you who knew me for my Assassin's Creed, I'm sorry. I lost my muse and my motivation to continue that story. I really do feel terrible about it. Stone me if you wish...**

**The first seven chapters of this were written while I was at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon, so if there are any spelling or grammar errors, i blame my tablet. I'm not foolproof, no matter how much my classmates call me the human dictionary. Let me know if Spock or anyone else is too OOC, i don't mean them to be! Please let me know how i can improve!**

**Uhura/Spock never happened in this fic. I couldn't find a good way to write around it. I'm new to the Trek verse, so please let me know if i mess something up! i live to learn. I've only seen Into Darkness once, and my novel isn't as close to the movie as it could be, so please let me know if there's something that i need to fix!**

**Without further ado, here is Learn To Love Again.**

Well I thought that things would be better now that I was only a semester from graduating. Never had I been so wrong. I was crunching to excel in my many classes, and excel I must, if my plan to work aboard the Enterprise is to be carried out. The fleet's flagship was accepting none but the finest graduates to become part of her crew. Though repairs from the Nero incident were still underway, the Enterprise would be ready to fly again just after graduation.

I was mostly completing classes that I had started at the beginning of the year. There was only one class I had taken for only this semester. I felt the need to study a bit of Vulcan history after the planet's destruction, and this class had been the only one having an open space. I soon found out why. Commander Spock taught the class. Being half-Vulcan himself, he had a vast knowledge of the planet. I quickly found that because of this expertise, nothing short of excellence would be accepted.

Though at first quite intimidated, I found Vulcan history was my favorite subject. The lectures were most fascinating, and because of that I was able to excel. The only downside being that my ex-boyfriend, Cadet Robertson, also attended the class. Presumably stalking me. I couldn't let it intimidate me, especially now that finals were beginning, but there was always this nagging feeling that things would go sour very quickly.

I knew that Commander Spock must have noticed something odd, because he would raise his eyebrow ever so slightly when Robertson would sit next to me, no matter where I sat. But that didn't matter at he moment, finals did. That's why I was going to my Vulcan history classroom early, hoping to squeeze in some uninterrupted study time before Cadet Robertson showed up. It was the last class of the day, and I knew he could show up at any time.

I sat in a desk in the front row, and opened my textbook on my PADD. I was a few pages in when I heard the doors open and shut quietly. I glanced up long enough to see Commander Spock stride in, his PADD under his arm, and his uniform perfect, as always.

I discreetly straightened in my seat, and pulled my uniform straight. His mere presence made me want to appear my best. Not only was he my favorite teacher, but he was first officer aboard the Enterprise. I would do well to keep a good reputation around him.

Something about him told me that though he was Vulcan, and supposedly had no emotional capability, that he really did feel like a human does. That maybe he just hides it exceedingly well. Perhaps it was the way he would raise an eyebrow when I turned in a paper a week earlier than everyone else. Or maybe the way he would smirk ever so slightly after putting a unrulely student in their place. No matter the reason, I was sure that he did feel. And though it went against everything that I was being taught about the planet's history, I believed it suited him well.

My attention was drawn from my thoughts when his calm voice called, "Cadet, what brings you here so early? Final exams do not begin for almost an hour."

My mind scrambled for my reason. It was a good one, why had I forgotten it?

"I simply desired to study before the exam, Commander." I stated, finally remembering. "During class I find it hard to concentrate at times."

He simply nodded, and when I moved to continue reading, spoke once more.

"Is it, perhaps, the presence of the male Cadet that sits next to you, what you find distracting?" He queried.

I sat in shock for a moment, before answering. "Yes, Commander. Cadet Robertson and I had previously been romantically involved. When I called it off, he resorted to taking every possible class he could with me, and it makes me uncomfortable."

The Commander seemed to think for a moment, before offering, "I could assign seating for final exams, so he would not sit by your side."

"That would be...most appreciated." I said, shocked at his generous offer, "but please, I don't want to cause you any trouble."

"There is no trouble." He replied with what appeared to be a fraction of a smile, but it was gone before I could really tell, "I would not hear of my best student failing a final exam because of a distraction she held no responsibility for."

"Thank you, Commander." I said, smiling broadly.

"It is no trouble at all, Cadet..." he paused.

"Turner, Jamie." I said.

"Cadet Turner." He finished, with what appeared to be another fractional smile, but again it was gone before I could tell.

I quietly reveled in the fact that he had offered to go out of his way to help me, and that he had even called me his 'best student'. But shaking my head to clear it, I reminded myself that I had a final to study for, and I returned my attention to my textbook.

When the final was about to begin, I glanced at Robertson long enough to see a scowl across his face. I smirked to myself, and waited for Commander Spock to tell us to begin.

Once he had, I nearly flew through the test. When I had finished the essay, I returned the test to the Commander and sat down, a triumphant smile on my face.

One by one all of the students turned in their tests, their faces mostly uncertain, a few fearful. When the class was dismissed, the majority of the students left, speaking of their plans for the night. I remained in my desk, waiting for Robertson to leave.

But he didn't.

I started to put my PADD and other things into my bag like I was leaving, and he did the same. This wasn't good. And it made me very uncomfortable. I rose to leave, and Robertson did too. I stopped to briefly thank Commander Spock for his help. He motioned me closer, and said in a low voice, "Would you like me to escort you to your quarters?"

"No," I said, glancing at Robertson, "I believe that I can handle this myself. My sincerest thanks, though."

He merely nodded, and I left the building hastily. I knew I was pursued, but I didn't look back. I already knew who it was. Instead of leading him to my dorm, I started for campus security. But he figured it out too soon, and caught up with me quickly. Grabbing my arm with a grip of steel, he violently swept me into a side passage that looked like it hadn't been used in a while.

"I'm tired of your game." He whispered through clenched teeth, "Why don't you just acknowledge the fact that we were meant to be together?" He asked in a softer tone, coming closer to me, pressing me up against a wall.

"That's because we're not going be together." I spat, squirming to get free. But his grip on my arm tightened, And I knew it would bruise badly. His other hand gripped my other arm, and I realized what he intended to do. My face paled, my throat tightened, and my heart raced. I closed my eyes, waiting for the inevitable. Moments after his lips met my skin, he suddenly slumped down and fell to the ground.

**_OOOOO _****some shizniz just bout went down! wat gunna happen now?**

**haha. well anyways, this was my first chapter. please let me know if there is something that i am doing wrong when writing. I wrote the first seven chapters of this away from civilization! **

**Reviews are the lovely life source that i thrive on. I would love many! **


	2. Try To Sleep

**Here you are, chapter two. **

I dared to open my eyes, and found Commander Spock standing in front of me, his hand still out in front of him as if to give a nerve pinch. I stood shaking as the Commander used his comm to call security.

My knees felt like they would give out at any moment. I could feel a tear rolling down my cheek, And I wiped it away before the Commander could see it. He faced me, what could have been concern crossing his face momentarily, And asked, "Are you alright, Cadet Turner? Are you harmed in any way?"

"I'm alright, Commander." I said, more steadiness in my voice than I thought possible at the moment. "He didn't accomplish anything, thanks to yourself. Thank you, sir."

"There are no thanks required. Something like this should never be allowed to happen. I should have escorted you to your quarters as I intended." He responded, what might have been regret lacing his tone. "Which is what I plan to do now. If you would inform me of where your dormitory is, I shall escort you home."

I was a bit shaken still, and hastily told him. He nodded, and we began our way to my dorm. It was silent, but a part of me was glad for it. I didn't know if I would be able to control my emotions if I started talking. And losing control of my emotions in front of my Vulcan professor was not something that I wanted to do.

When we reached my door, he asked once again if I was alright. I nodded, saying, "I'll be alright, thank you Commander. Thank you again for doing what you did, I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't arrived." That was a lie.

"Very well, Cadet." He responded, turning to leave, but then adding, "If you ever have the need or desire, know that I do not object to your presence in my class after hours. If I am not present, you only need contact my comm, And I will come to aid you."

"Thank you, Mr. Spock. I'll keep that in mind. Goodnight, sleep well." I said, almost disappointed that he was leaving.

"Sleep well, Miss Turner." He responded, turning slowly, and leaving with long, even strides. My eyes followed him longer than they probably should have.

I sighed as I entered my dorm room, which was empty as usual. My roommate was more than likely out on the town, not caring for finals any more than she did the rest of the school year.

I sat on my bed, stripping myself of my uniform And changing into my much more comfortable pajamas. Once I had, I lay flat on my back And tried to process what had happened to me. And maybe try to forget what had almost happened.

I wasn't sure how the Commander had found me, or why he had chosen to follow after me, but I was glad that he had. Without him there I would have been in a most unpleasant situation.

My mind relived the moment of pure terror, my throat constricting again, and tears rolling freely down my cheeks. Then, the unknown emotion, the unnamed feeling that spread through me like a warm wave when I had opened my eyes to see Mr. Spock standing before me. His brown eyes seemed darker, his shoulders tense. His Vulcan nerve pinch had done its job, but he had still seemed wary of Robertson as he called security, explaining the situation.

And afterwards, when he had walked me home, I had pretended not to notice his gaze shifting left and right, or that his hand occasionally would make contact with my back as he directed me around. The warm feeling again appeared, and I decided that it had to be admiration, respect. He had saved me from horror, after all. Being my favorite teacher, he deserved nothing less than this admiration I must have been feeling.

A nagging feeling in the back of my mind told me that maybe that wasn't all I felt, but I pushed it into the back of my mind. Such thoughts were silly, and would distract me when I needed to concentrate the most. Sighing and trying to clear my mind, I had the computer shut the lights off, And I went to sleep. I wouldn't have been able to eat dinner even if I had tried.

**Sorry for the short chapter, but i really had a hard time finding a good place to stop before the next one. **

**Reviews make me love you even morrreeeeee**


	3. Quite Exceptional

**This Chapter is a little longer than the last :)**

When I awoke ion the morning, it was another day of tests, with a two hour long break after lunch before my final test of the day. I groaned as I rolled out of bed, shaking my hung-over roommate awake. I dressed, And brushed my short hair smooth, making sure my bangs were still suitably curled.

II stretched, And decided against makeup this particular day. No one too important would see me, and I had finished my favorite class yesterday. What would be the point? I didn't care.

My tests went along smoothly, my quantum mechanics being the only subject that I was unsure of my knowledge. Thankfully I wasn't planning on being an engineer.

After my fourth period class, I decided to lunch in the Vulcan history classroom, if it was available. Thankfully there was no one in sight, And I was able to eat my lunch in peace. I pulled out my PADD and began studying for my last test of the day, taking careful mental notes. I heard the familiar whoosh of the doors opening And closing, but I didn't bother to look up. Whoever it was, they wouldn't be bothering me.

After a short pause, I heard papers being shifted around, and a small, quiet sigh. I glanced up briefly to see Commander Spock sitting at his desk, grading final papers. He nodded briefly to acknowledge me, which I returned before he returned to his work.

I returned to mine, and all that could be heard was my breathing and the occasional rustling of papers. An hour passed before either of us said a word.

"Cadet Turner," the Commander began, "if you should desire so, I can now give you your graded final paper."

"That would be wonderful." I said, smiling and rising from my desk. "I was wondering what my final grade would be for this class."

"Your final grade was quite exceptional." He said, handing my paper to me. My skin tingled at the brief contact, perplexing me for a moment. I accepted the paper and he continued. "I enjoyed grading your paper, as it only needed correction from overly complex sentences."

I glanced at the grade written upon the paper. Ninety-eight percent.

"Thank you sir." I said, smiling. "I enjoyed your class."

"Indeed, it will be interesting to find what starship you are assigned to." He said, glancing up at me briefly before returning to his papers.

"I am hoping to be placed aboard the Enterprise." I said, "She's the finest ship I can think of."

He seemed to think for a moment before responding. "Indeed, she is a most impressive vessel."

I let the topic drop, and instead returned to my desk and continued studying.

Or rather, trying to study. My mind continually wandered back to the tingling sensation I had felt when our hands touched. In my studies, I had never read of human/vulcan contact having any sort of side effect, but here I was, faced with one. The warm feeling returned, And I made a mental note to take myself to the nurse's station. This couldn't be normal.

Later, I sat in the nurse's office, waiting to be seen. Nurse Chapel smiled as she came in, looking over my record on her PADD.

"Well, you're up to date with all your vaccines, you just had your annual exam a month ago, and you appear to be in perfect health." The nurse said, a puzzled look crossing her face, "What brings you here?"

"Well," I said slowly, "I have been having strange symptoms lately. I have had accelerated heartbeat accompanied by a warm sensation throughout my body, And tingling sensation when I make contact with something."

The nurse seemed to think for a while. Then, her facial expression changed so quickly I could have sworn I saw a light bulb above her head.

"I know what's wrong!" She shouted. "You're in love!"

"That can't be!" I said, but a realization dawning on me none the less, "My ex-boyfriend And I are more than over, and I'm not with anyone else."

"Well you might not be dating anyone, but is there anyone whose company you find more enjoyable since the breakup?" She queried. "There is. I can see it in your face. Don't even try to deny it. Now I won't ask who this someone is, but you should consider a relationship. After all, if just alluding to them makes you blush, I can't think of a better thing to do."

Having said this, the nurse smiled, patted me on the shoulder, And led me out of the office.

Later, I stood in my room, sighing. What was I going to do now?

**Ok so maybe it's not as long as I thought...**

**I sowwy. **

**What's up with Turner? What's she gunna do with this?**

**please review, it gives me strength to continue writing this stuff...**


	4. Graduation Day

**So, we're one chapter further. I applaud your patience with me!**

As much as I tried, I simply could not stop thinking about my interactions with Commander Spock. When had my admiration for him turned into something different? And what was I going to do about it? Emotions swirled around in a never-ceasing circle as I attempted to figure out what to do.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that I would NOT tell Commander Spock. I would maintain a businesslike attitude with him from now until I could sensibly decide otherwise. And whatever I felt, I felt. Its not like I would see him after graduation.

Graduation came, And with it both a sense of relief And anxiousness. I was glad to be done with studying, but uneasy about finding out my ship assignment.

I accepted my diploma along with all of the other graduating students, and after the ceremony had completed, moved on to the ship recruiters.

As the man read off the list of lieutenants, their given ships, and their position on said ship, I became more And more uneasy. What if I had failed? What if I would never set foot on the Enterprise?

But I didn't have to worry about that. The man called out "Turner, Jamie, U.S.S. Enterprise, assistant to CSO." and I almost screamed aloud for joy. I tried to contain my excitement as I went up to accept my assignment, and head for the uniforms.

When I had been sized, I was told my uniforms would be waiting in my new quarters aboard the ship. I excitedly made my way to my dorm room, singing the whole way there. In a few days we would be taking off for the planet Nibiru, to observe the natives. My favorite science, anthropology. Just because I was a weapons specialist didn't mean that I didn't like people.

The day couldn't come soon enough. It seemed years, not days until I boarded the shuttle that would take me to the Enterprise. I sat amongst other department head's assistants, waiting to be launched to space. When the launching sequence began, my stomach turned in excitement. I was too far from the windows to see much, but I knew that it would be fascinating.

When I boarded the ship that I would now be living on, a wave of awe crashed over me. Everything was shining And new, and everyone was almost fearful to touch anything.

I made my way to my quarters, and once I found them, I was blown away yet again. It was the size of my dorm room, but I didn't share this. I had a full bathroom, And a closet well stocked with my new blue uniforms. I took one out And put it on, sliding off my red Cadet's uniform.

I walked up to my comm console and asked where I should check in for my schedule. After a brief pause, the computer responded that I should check into the bridge. I shut off the lights in my quarters, and began my way to the bridge.

As I stepped out of the turbolift And onto the bridge, I was met by the captain, who introduced himself as Jim Kirk. I introduced myself, And continued to the science station. I stopped dead in my tracks.

"This is my first officer, and chief science officer, Mr. Spock." Kirk said, as Spock turned around.

"My apologies Captain, but I'm afraid introductions are not required in this instance." Spock said, standing, "Lt. Turner was my best student, and therefore we have been previously acquainted."

Kirk took a moment to process what had just been told to him, before he nodded And moved along.

"Commander." I greeted formally. "What shall my duties be?"

"For now, your duties shall be to shadow me, and learn my duties," he began, "so that I may have a relief for times of rest, and so that you might serve as a suitable replacement, should anything happen to me whilst in the field."

"Yes, Commander." I answered, not sure whether I was elated or upset to be in such a position. A job where your only means of promotion were either the retiring or the death of your superior? Sounded like fun...

But I had little time to think on this, as I was introduced to the bridge's crew. Mr. Sulu, Mr. Chekov, and Lt. Uhura were the only non-aliens that I could see, though I wasn't sure that everyone was present yet.

A few more people situated themselves at their stations, and then all of the different departments called in their ready for departure. Mr. Sulu confirmed with the Captain, and then took us to warp. Stars stretched across the viewscreen, and we were enveloped in a tunnel of blue stars.

Commander Spock called me over to his station, and motioned for me to sit in the chair next to his. Once I had sat down, he began refreshing me in what all of the instruments and screens meant and did. When I had been properly instructed, he asked me to watch the station while he spoke with the captain.

We soon dropped out of warp, And I began running routine scans of the planet we were to explore. The air was breathable, the temperature warm but tolerable, and nothing that the sensors could pick up seemed toxic. But a constant rising of temperature made me suspicious. I ran thermal scans of the surface, And was alarmed by what I found. A volcano was threatening to erupt. That wouldn't be a problem, but said volcano was so massive that its eruption would mean the destruction of all the living things on the planet.

"Commander," I called, "you may want to take a look at this.."

**OOOO what has Jamie found?**

**Well if you've seen the movie, you may have a general idea haha. **

**reviews are pure gold! **


	5. Nibiru Situations

**I know. I don't write long chapters, ever it seems. Please don't shoot me!**

Spock walked swiftly over to our station, dark eyes scanning the readings on the bright screen.

"Captain," he called out, "we need to have a meeting. This planet's survival depends upon our action, or lack thereof."

Captain Kirk agreed with a nod, calling a few key bridge personnel to the lift with him. The replacements filled their empty chairs, And I continued to monitor the planet while Spock went to meet with the Captain.

I scanned the planet for any native sentient beings, and found only one village. The village itself was too close to the volcano to survive even a small eruption, much less the one the planet was faced with.

The comm at the station buzzed, and the Captain's voice asked if we had any new information regarding the planet and its inhabitants. I relaid what I had discovered about the natives. Thanking me, Captain Kirk terminated the link.

I sat, seeing if I could get any more readings, And wondering what the Captain's decision would be. How were we going to handle such a sensitive situation? Any observation of our technology on the native's part would be in direct violation of the Prime Directive of Star Fleet.

Minutes later, the meeting had adjourned, and the crew returned to their posts, the reliefs leaving. Mr. Spock returned to his chair, looking at the screen display for any new information.

"Open a ship-wide channel." The Captain said, sitting in his chair.

When the channel had been opened, he sighed, And began, "Attention, we have arrived at our destination planet of Nibiru. On this planet, there is a volcano on the brink of explosion. Should this volcano erupt, life on the planet would cease to exist." The Captain paused before beginning again,"There will be a landing party consisting of myself and Dr. McCoy. We will observe the natives and find a way to lure them to a safe area without direct interference. Mr. Spock and Mr. Sulu will head up another party, with the assistance of Miss Turner, that will deposit a device into the volcano, preventing its eruption. The gas clouds coming from the volcano will hide their shuttle. As for the Enterprise, we're about to go for a little swim. Kirk out."

The captain nodded to Spock and I, and Mr. Sulu rose from his station to follow us as we entered the turbolift. The lift was rather crowded, and I felt uncomfortable fo more than one reason. I was standing in the rear of the lift, with Commander Spock directly beside me, and the Captain in front of me.

The close quarters didn't last for long, and we exited the turbolift. The Commander and I went along with Mr. Sulu to be outfitted for our swim gear and landing uniforms. When we had each changed, we headed for our shuttle. The Captain and Dr. McCoy were waiting for us, and when we had all been strapped in, we took off out of the hangar.

During our trip in the turbulent, we must have submerged, as we were already underwater when the hangar doors opened. When we surfaced, Mr. Sulu hovered by the edge of a cliff on the ocean to drop off Dr. McCoy and Captain Kirk.

When they had left the ship, we rose up above the clouds to travel without detection. When we had reached the volcano, we lowered to hide in the gas clouds that shrouded the volcano's tip. Spock unfastened himself, And I followed suit.

We came into the rear of the shuttle, and Spock stripped off his landing uniform, leaving his swimwear on. He reached for the extreme conditioned exosuit, and I knew what to do. He pulled it on over him, And I began tightening And fastening all of the knobs that needed adjustment.

He knelt down, and opened the briefcase that contained the anti-thermal device, making some final adjustments before standing up.

I put on his helmet, And began fastening the knobs to tightly seal it to the rest of the coppery, metallic suit. My hands worked steadily, but my heart was racing inside my chest. This was extremely dangerous, and his chances of dying had to be ridiculously high. I forced my emotions down, and finished adjusting his suit.

"Sure you don't want me to go?" I said jokingly, not able to stand the silence any longer.

"That would be highly illogical," Spock began, obviously missing my humor, "as I am already suited up, and-"

"I was kidding, Spock." I said, tapping the glass of his helmet's viewscreen. I internally slapped myself for not addressing him more formally. This was getting bad.

He attached the tether cable to his suit, And I left to sit with Mr. Sulu in the cockpit. Mr. Sulu was in An intense conversation with the Captain, and to my surprise Spock joined in as well. Sulu told me to drop Spock, and after a second's hesitation where I said my farewell, I pulled the lever to drop Spock down into the volcano.

I gasped as the shuttle jolted suddenly, And my hands flew across the controls that monitored both Spock And the shuttle.

"We're going to lose our thrusters!" Sulu said, grunting to keep the shuttle under control. "This shuttle wasn't meant to take this kind of heat!"

Suddenly, I heard a loud snap, And the monitor for Spock began to flicker And was generally glitching. My heart stopped as I realized what had happened.

Ignoring all protocol, I practically screamed into the comm, "Spock! Are you alright?"

"I am.." he said, the comm link staticy, "surprisingly, alive."

"We can't stay here." Sulu said, flipping switches left And right, " we have to leave. I can't even guarantee we'll make it back to the ship."

"But there has to be some way! We can't just leave him!" I said, the tone of my voice betraying my raging emotions, "there's another exosuit, I can put it on, go down, and get him."

Sulu looked regretful. "We have to leave now, im sorry." He said, "Spock, we're headed back to the Enterprise. We'll have to come back."

I could hear Spock's acknowledgement in Sulu's comm, And we shakily left the volcano. "Ready to swim?" Sulu asked.

**Again, i apologize if this isn't exactly like the movie. I have only seen it once, and the book that i have isn't exactly like the movie is. **

**if you review, you are an honorary star fleet officer, i'll make sure of it once i own star trek...**


	6. Prime Directive Dillema

**I don't own Star Trek, if i did, Spock would be mine. *sighs***

**anyway, have fun with this chap!**

When I boarded the Enterprise, I could hear the chief engineer, Mr. Scott, whining about the acidity of sea water on his ship. But I didn't let anything slow me down as I raced for the bridge to start scanning Spock for vitals And location.

I nearly slammed myself into his chair, jamming a new comm into my ear and adjusting the sensors. Uhura was already attempting to get a connection reestablished with him, and the Captain had just boarded, arriving in the airlock.

The Captain was quickly on the bridge, And giving orders relating to connecting with Spock. I was too busy monitoring the volcano to pay close attention, but I did hear Spock's voice say that the device had been activated. I sighed briefly in the knowledge that he was still alive, but the monitors in front of me told me that unless we did something, he wouldn't be for long.

I heard the Captain and Spock arguing over something, and I decided to concentrate on getting a good reading on his location, instead of getting involved. It seemed that every time I got a reading on his position, the magnetic field changed, and I lost his signal again. I mentally cheered Uhura for keeping his comm connected for so long. But my mind was to preoccupied to do anything of the sort. I was having a hard time concentrating through the blur that was my vision.

"This is your life we're talking about!" Kirk shouted.

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." Spock said. I had heard that line many times before. Vulcan history had required me to memorize it, and its meaning. My vision went from simply blurry to useless.

I heard the Captain issuing orders, but none of them pertained to me, and I didn't really care. I was in no shape to do anything at all important.

I heard the Captain speaking to Chekov about beaming Spock aboard now that we were airborne. Wait, airborne? What about the Prime Directive? Surely the Captain wasn't going to break a rule you learned in your first year of the Acadamy?

It seemed that he was. We were hovering over the mouth of the volcano, and my sensors were going nuts. If the devise did not go off in its scheduled ten seconds, the volcano would erupt and we would all be dead.

The device went off, and time stood still for me, thouth the flurry of activity around me never ceased. My monitors showed the device succesful, And the transporter being used. When the transporter finished, I contacted the Captain.

"Is Commader Spock alright?" I asked.

Kirk replied with An affirmative, And I sighed as I responded, "Then will you please let him know that the devise has detonated successfuly. Turner out."

I yanked the comm out of my ear, leaned back in the chair, and sighed, closing my eyes. I didn't know how much longer I could handle keeping my emotions under caps.

**I know how stupid emotions can be. They are no fun.**

**:D next chapter will be the last one i wrote at the Grand Canyon**


	7. What Is Necessary Is Never Unwise

**Well here we are, the last Grand Canyon writings lol.**

**Please let me know if Spock acts really strangely in this chapter. I mean, he's not all stoic for my version, but i want to stay as true to the real Spock as I can...**

**urg it's hard to explain. **

**please enjoy :)**

We returned to Earth, and it was the last I would see of my favorite ship for a while. Heavens knows what Star Fleet intended to do to reprimand Kirk.

Two days after arriving back, there was a bombing at a Star Fleet archive, taking many innocent lives. I knew that at a time such as this, all present Captains and their First Officers would be attending a meeting in the conference building across from my room. If I looked out, I could see the lights through the tinted glass.

What was I going to do with myself? I couldn't let myself turn into a blubbery mess whenever Spock was in danger, it would compromise the entire crew. And that's another thing, I was referring to him as Spock now, not Commander, not anything at all formal. And I had let it slip from only calling him that to myself, to saying it out loud, right to his face.

A bright flash of light outside my window caught my attention. I looked out, and began scrambling for my comm. Someone was piloting a jumpship, and they were firing on the conference room that Spock and Captain Kirk were sure to be in.

I alerted emergency services, and then tried contacting Spock directly via communicator, regulation be damned. All I received was static. My heart leapt into my throat, and I attempted to contact Kirk. Again, I got nothing but static to reward my efforts. I gave an exasperated huff, throwing my comm across the room. I could only hope that they made it out alive.

The enemy ship, a marked Federation vessel, went down, taking out a lower chunk of the building with it. Emergency vehicles hovered up to put out the fires that had been started, and I could just make out paramedics inside the building, working to save the wounded.

In a few minutes, I could read An official report, and it would tell me who survived, and who didn't. But those few minutes dragged out like hours. When I couldn't take waiting any longer, I looked for the report on my PADD. I found what I was looking for, and the answers both relieved and surprised me.

Spock and Captain Kirk had lived, but Kirk was no longer Captain, it said. Kirk was First Officer aboard the Enterprise, and the now late Admiral Pike had been Captain. Spock was now First Officer aboard the U.S.S. Bradburry, the Captain of said ship also recently deceased.

My heart stopped, and my PADD fell from my hands. I would never see him again, now. I didn't even know what I would be doing. Would I replace Spock? Would there be a new science officer for me to shadow?

If there was a bright side to this situation, I suppose it was that I wouldn't have to hide my emotions any longer. I would feel whatever I felt, without the risk of offending the Vulcan Officer.

The next afternoon, I was called to board the Enterprise, that we would be leaving asap. I gathered the few things I needed, and headed directly for the shuttle docks. The official call wasn't until two hours from then, but I had nothing better to do.

The only shuttle leaving was one for senior officers, but I managed to get aboard. It was empty, save a few seats, and it was relatively easy to get my small bag in the overhead cargo hold. When I turned back, I froze. He was there, standing right in front of me.

Spock seemed surprised to see me, but I wasn't paying attention to that. I was trying to figure out how to quickly cover up my emotions before I did something irrational. I wasn't supposed to have to cover up any more...

I lost it. I stepped up to him, whispered, "Spock.." and wrapped my arms around him, forgetting all about protocol and regulation. He didn't push me away, which was heartening, but neither did he respond in kind. I could feel my tears getting his uniform wet, and I was brought back to reality.

I backed away, sputtering an apology, And sat in my window seat, refusing to look at him through my tear-blurred eyes.

If he intended to speak to me, he was interrupted by Kirk coming aboard, and speaking to him. Kirk wad followed closely by Dr. McCoy, tricorder in hand. I was almost too unstable to notice that Kirk had sat in the row in front of me.

McCoy took one of the seats next to me, and was still scanning Kirk, muttering under his breath. Spock sat directly in front of me, leaving one seat between Kirk and himself. They were talking about something, but I wasn't paying attention to what. Kirk snapped at McCoy, who stopped scanning reluctantly.

A female voice piped up, and I glanced up, tears now dried but my attitude unchanged. A blond woman stood in front of Kirk, explaining that she was a science officer sent by Admiral Marcus.

"You requested another science officer?" Spock asked, "It seems unnecessary with myself and Miss Turner aboard."

"I wish I had." Kirk said quietly, and I almost snorted. "Welcome aboard, Miss Carol Wallace."

From what I had gathered, Kirk was Captain once more, and it appeared that Spock had been placed in his previous position as well. I wondered what the presence of this new science officer would mean for me. Would she be my superior? Or were we equals?

I lost my train of thought when she sat in between the Captain and Spock. I felt a pang of jealousy jolt through me, but I was focused on burying my emotion again before I did anything else that could get me in trouble.

When we arrived at the Enterprise, I went directly to my quarters, instead of following the Captain and Spock to the cargo hold. I would go directly to the bridge afterwards, as to not appear to be shirking my duties.

When I arrived on the bridge, I felt myself able to breathe a little easier. Formal settings made it easier to control myself. Before I had any real chance to relax, though, Spock walked onto the bridge, taking his normal spot next to me. I stiffened slightly, but otherwise made no outward reaction to his presence.

"Commander." I greeted formally, and I admit, rather stiffly and quietly.

"Lieutenant." He responded, his usual, stoic self.

The Captain came on bridge minutes later, followed by Uhura. Kirk assigned Chekov to engineering, a replacement navigator taking his chair. In a few minutes, the ship was ready for departure.

When we entered warp, the Captain had Uhura open a ship-wide channel.

"Attention, crew of the Enterprise," he began, "as most of you know, the former Captain of this ship, and our friend Admiral Pike, is now dead.

"The man who killed him has fled our system and is hiding in the Klingon home world - somewhere he believes we are unwilling to go. We're on our way there now." He paused for a moment, sitting back in his chair. "Per Admiral Marcus, it is essential that our presence go undetected. Any direct provocation could lead to all-out war. We will carry out our mission in secret and as swiftly as possible. These are our orders."

Kirk paused a moment before adding, "Alright. Let's go get this sonuvabitch."

Now that some of the excitement had dissipated, I was feeling more and more uncomfortable sitting where I was. I needed to step out and clear my head.

"If you'll excuse me.." I said, rising from my chair and leaving the bridge. I stepped out, trying to rationally sort this out in my head. There was no way he would ever reciprocate feelings for me, I told myself, as a dedicated Vulcan, he wouldn't allow such a lapse in logic. Tears began to well in my eyes, and I struggled to keep them at bay.

I found myself pacing back And forth, sorting through my thoughts. I was startled to turn around and see Spock standing there, watching me. I scrambled to put together an apology for my earlier actions.

"I'm sorry for what happened on the shuttle...sir." I said, wincing at my struggle to address him properly. "It was an unforseen and unwise lapse in both my logic and self-control-"

I was shocked into silence my a hand on my shoulder and a finger on my lips.

"My father once told me," he said in a low, quiet voice, "That what is necessary, is never unwise."

With those words, he wrapped me in a hug. My emotional wall burst, and I was quietly sobbing into his shirt.

"I was so scared," I breathed, "When you were in that conference room, that you had died. Your comm wasn't working, and I could see nothing but destruction. When I read the report, I was relieved that you were alive, but heartbroken that you had been reassigned. I told myself that since I wouldn't be seeing you again, that I no longer had to hide my feelings. When I saw you on the shuttle, I was totally unprepared."

There was only silence for a moment as he rubbed small circles into my back.

"Perhaps unpreparedness has its advantages." He murmured. "How long have you felt this way?"

"Probably since you saved me after finals." I breathed, no longer crying.

"You do not know how much longer i have longed for you." He said, "For me it started as protectiveness after seeing you, my best student, be hurt by someone. Over the course of the semester, my feelings changed, leading to my pursuit of you after testing. I am rather amazed you hid such a thing as well as you did, for I know that it could not have been easy."

Just then, a terrible shaking struck the Enterprise, causing us to fall to the ground.

"What the hell was that?!"

**Well well well! Finally some action! of both kinds haha. **

**Please let me know what you guys think, it is really precious to me!**


	8. Unless They're Vulcan

**well here's chapter eight my lovelies!**

**A special thank you to all of my reviewers! I love you guys so much, and it means a lot to see that people like my story enough to take the time to tell me how much they like it! :D :D :D **

**I'm sorry to announce that this may be the last chapter for a while! I have a USO Canteen play at my church this weekend that I'm acting in, and I'm also away from the Internets during that time. On the ninth of July, I am leaving for my summer camp, and on a couple of days before that, it's a holiday or my sister's birthday. I may try to get a ninth chapter out for you, but I'm not sure that i will be able to do it quick enough. **

**that much being said, enjoy chapter eight! :D**

"I do not know." Spock said, helping me up.

We both rushed to the bridge, our hands flying over the controls at our station while the Captain spoke with Chekov via comm. The young navigator sounded stressed and embarrassed at the same time as he described what had happened to the Captain.

We were now stranded in enemy space, our warp drive out of commission for who knows how long. Just perfect...

"Spock, Turner, you're coming with me." Kirk said, "We're going to get him ourselves."

"Sir, it is highly illogical for both senior officers to land in hostile territory whilst the ship is floating helplessly in enemy space." Spock said quietly to the captain, "And also against Star Fleet regulation."

"Wouldn't be the first time." The Captain retorted. "Uhura, how's your Klingon?"

"A bit rusty, but good." She replied, rising from her chair.

"You're coming along too." Kirk said, walking towards the turbolift. "Officer Wallace will take care of the science station. Sulu, you have the conn."

"Aye, sir." Sulu replied, rising from his seat to sit in the Captain's.

McCoy muttered something to Kirk, but Kirk dismissed him and stepped into the lift. Spock, myself, and Uhura followed suit, as Kirk called a few ensigns to meet us in the shuttle bay. We were going incognito.

This lift ride was not nearly so uncomfortable, as I now had no qualms about standing near Spock. I could almost sense that he was purposely brushing his hand against mine every so often. It helped to settle my nerves, the tension in my shoulders lessened slightly. Calm spread through me, and An overwhelming sense of belonging.

I was drawn from my thoughts when Kirk explained that we would change into our K'normian weapons dealer clothes, and pilot the K'normian shuttle confiscated in An earlier escapade. If the Klingons did intercept us, we were weapons dealers that just got a little lost. Flawless, right? Probably not...

But that wasn't about to stop the Captain. We went our separate ways to change, And then met at the shuttle. The two ensigns stood waiting in their standard issue Star Fleet uniforms. With some explaining from the Captain, they grabbed the civilian clothes and went off to change.

The four of us walked into the shuttle, acquainting ourselves with the alien controls of the ship. It was no Federation ship, but the controls proved easy enough to use. As soon as the ensigns boarded the shuttle, we took off, heading straight for Qo'noS. Here went nothing, and everything at the same time...

It was a fairly silent trip to the planet. A little too quiet for my preference. We entered the planet's atmosphere, scanning for the location of the one living thing on the surface, John Harrison. An eerie sense of dread came over me, And I shivered. Something wasn't right.

"I have located Harrison's biosign, sir." Spock said, nodding to let me know to pinpoint exactly where, "He is sheltering himself in the Ketha province."

"Thanks, Spock." The Captain said, then turning on the comm to the Enterprise, told Sulu what to convey to the fugitive. I shivered again, and Uhura And I stole a glance at each other. I wasn't the only uneasy one.

"Captain," Spock said, "It is unlikely that Harrison will come willingly. I calculate the chances of him trying to kill us at ninety one point six percent."

"Fantastic," Kirk replied dryly, "I can always count on your encouragement in tough situations, Spock."

"You can always count on me for an accurate appraisal of any situation, sir." Spock said, "Most individuals would consider that a more useful response."

"Unless they're Vulcan." Uhura interjected, catching me off guard. "And don't care about dying."

I froze. I knew immediately what Uhura spoke of. The volcano on Niburu. I myself didn't care to remember the incident, but when Uhura brought it up, it brought back the painful memory of his emotionless wish to be left to die...

Spock leaned forwards in his seat. "I am sorry, Lieutenant," he said, "I am not sure I heard you correctly."

"Whoah, guys." Kirk said, "Are you really going to do this right now?"

"I agree with the Captain, Lieutenant." Spock said, "Our current situation requires focus."

"What sure doesn't seem to require focus to you is the rest of us." She shot back, venom lacing her tone. "In that volcano, you didn't give a second thought to _us_, did you? What it would do to us if you died?"

I may have been confused about this whole conversation, but I knew that the us she spoke of stood for those in this cockpit. She even cast meaningful glances at me when she would say us, making me wonder if she somehow knew.

"I don't know what Turner got out of it, or even the Captain, but I got that you didn't feel anything, you didn't care."

Uhura's statements were leading me to believe that she did know. So along with the sadness of the subject matter, I was met with confusion as to how she had found out so quickly.

Jarring me out of the fog that was my mental state, I heard Spock say something along the lines of life being important to him as a member of An endangered species. I sighed, knowing that this wasn't the answer Uhura was looking for, And it wasn't exactly comforting me either.

"That being said, the idea of one's death affecting a loved one would be so painful," Spock continued, softer now, "that the only logical choice left was to choose to feel nothing instead. My thoughts were proved to me upon linking minds with Admiral Pike upon his death. The mixture of emotions is one that i never wish to feel again."

He paused, and the tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. A tear rolled down my cheek, And I sniffed quietly.

"You misunderstand my choice not to feel at that moment as an indication of my not caring," he continued, answering Uhura's challenge, but looking at me the whole time, "But I assure you that the truth, is quite the opposite."

I felt a weight lift off my shoulders that I didn't even know that I had. Uhura smiled briefly in my direction, confusing me even more. We needed to have a talk when we got back.

My thoughts were stalled as a blinding light hit the bow. This time, it was Kirk's turn to exclaim, "What the hell was that?!"

**I can promise you that i'll update again after i get back from summer camp on the thirteenth of july! anything before that is very iffy... thanks for reading!**


	9. Qo'noS Wartet

**I got it out before monday! YAY MEEEE lol**

**A very special thank you to Spock4Eternity. Her review on my last chapter made me cry... Ok I admit it, I'm a sap! whatever... She's been very accepting of my hectic schedule with the release of this chapter. My tablet died, (first it crashed and I had to reboot it, and then i was tripped while holding it, and i cracked the screen) and i had to re-write this chapter from scratch, and i'm leaving for camp Tuesday, not to return until Monday... I'll miss you people! **

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"Klingon war vessel, sir." I said, my screen now alive with activity. So much for uninhabited. Why hadn't I picked up readings on them before?

Kirk was trying his best to maneuver us away from the Klingon vessel, but his best wasn't working.

"May I remind you, Captain, that this ship has no offensive capabilities." Spock said, working on his station as quickly as I did mine.

"Not necessary to remind me, Mr. Spock." Kirk said, a little irritated, "I'm all too aware of it. We're simple merchants, that's all. Though right now, I wish it wasn't that simple. Give me full power; everything down to emergency backup, all this ship's fuel cells."

Spock didn't hesitate. "Aye, Captain."

Our ship banked abruptly. Intended for basic shuttling between the surface of a planet and the ship in orbit, it was not designed for high-speed atmospheric maneuvers, a fact that the Captain seemed to overlook as he wretched us over and sometimes through the towers of the abandoned cityscape. Repeated blasts from the pursuing ship just missed our ship. The next good shot could take out our engines, or if we were especially unlucky, the back end of our ship.

Uhura leaned forward suddenly, shouting, "They're closing fast, bearing two eight five!"

"Dammit!" Kirk said, trying his best to veer out of harm's way. He suddenly straightened. "There! We can lose them there!"

Staring straight ahead, Spock spoke up softly but urgently. "If you are suggesting we utilize what might or might not be a passage between the approaching structures, this ship will not fit between them."

"We'll fit." Kirk said, tilting us sideways in an attempt to squeeze through the narrow slot between the buildings.

"We will not." Spock said, his demeanor calm, though I could tell he was nervous.

"We'll fit, we'll fit!" Kirk insisted, the ship sliding between the buildings. I mentally groaned as the ship ground the wall several times, noting Kirk's grunting as he kept us from smashing to pieces.

When we emerged on the other side of the cluster of tall buildings, the pursuing vessel was nowhere in sight, or sensor range. But sensors meant nothing now, unless it had been my fault and had missed a reading earlier... I cursed quietly, slapping my hand on the console. I should have been paying closer attention. Spock raised an eyebrow at my actions, but no one else seemed to even notice.

"I told you we'd fit." Kirk noted, gasping for a long breath.

"I am not sure that qualifies." Spock said, slowly turning his attention from me back to his monitors.

"You can put that opinion in your report." Kirk nodded at the instrument panel spread out before me. "Any sign of them?"

"No, which worries me." I said, still frustrated with myself.

"Relax." The captain deftly guided us through a vast, now-empty staging area, further ensuring we would not be seen. Darkness momentarily enveloped our battered craft. "We lost 'em."

"Or their jamming our scanners." I said quietly, Uhura nodding and seconding my thoughts.

Kirk's voice rose slightly. "Or, we lost 'em."

As we emerged once more into the open air, Spock nodded forward as I glanced at his screen. I gasped slightly, and verified on my monitors. We were doomed. "I suggest slowing to a hover here, Captain." Spock said calmly.

"Why?" It took the Captain another couple of seconds to focus on the source of Spock and I's concern. "Oh. Damn." He muttered under his breath, reluctantly bringing our ship to a halt.

We were now surrounded by not one, but three Klingon warbirds. It wasn't a perfect military englobement, but their mere presence was enough to ensure that we couldn't try to run.

"I thought we only had to deal with one of them." Kirk growled.

"Your use of the past tense is unfortunately accurate, Captain." Spock peered outward through the forward viewport. "I do not think we can escape from this formation."

The Captain snapped an angry response, "Tell me something I don't know, Spock."

"Where would you like me to begin, Captain?" Spock said, his eyebrow raising slightly.

"Really, guys?" I muttered, pinching my nose. We were going to get killed and they were arguing over this?

The Captain was obviously ready with another response, but was cut off by a burst of consonants from the cabin's communications system. Even for a Klingon, I thought the speaker sounded more than usually irate.

The message was spoken quickly, and I could only hope that Uhura was catching it all.

"They're ordering us to land. They say any further attempt to flee will be met by immediate destruction." Uhura said, looking forwards. "Captain, they're going to want to know why we're here. We'll give them the story, about being weapons dealers. They'll listen politely. Then they'll torture us, question us, and they're gonna kill us."

"Not a good list of options." Kirk murmured. "So we come out shooting."

Uhura shook her head. "We're outnumbered, outgunned. Captain, with all due respect, there's no way we survive if we attack first."

"More wonderful options." the Captain muttered. "I'd be open to alternatives if there were any."

"There is one, sir." Uhura said. Shocked, everyone turned to look at her for her response. "You brought me here because I speak Klingon." She stared down at the Captain, "Then let me speak Klingon."

Kirk nodded, and landed the vessel as gently as he could. The nearest warbird followed suit, landing far more gracefully. As soon as the ship's engines shut down, a dozen armed Klingons in severe military attire emerged from it. Close-fitting helmets the color of bruised antimony sat upon their heads, while multiple layers of faux leather protected muscular arms and torsos.

Uhura walked confidently out, never breaking her stride, never looking down to her feet. I admired her courage. She stopped a few yards from the Klingons, and began speaking. My throat hurt just listening to her.

I wish that I had been more attentive when in extra-solar speech classes. A bit of the knowledge of Klingon I could have gained would have been helpful at this moment.

"This isn't going to work." Kirk whispered.

"You don't know what she's doing." I replied, "None of us do."

"It doesn't matter." Kirk hissed, "Whatever it is, it isn't going to work."

"It may..whatever it is." Spock interjected, "And if you interrupt her now, you will not only incur the wrath of the Klingons, but that of Lieutenant Uhura as well."

"What if they just decide to shoot her?" Kirk muttered, moving to get our phasers ready. He handed us each one, set to kill.

"Let's just hope they don't." I whispered, trying not to think about it.

Suddenly, the Klingon that Uhura was speaking to reached out and grabbed her face, lifting her up off of the ground. We scrambled to get out of our craft, but not before a mysterious figure released a barrage of laser fire from above the Klingons.

We charged out as fast as we could, firing phasers as fast as we could take aim. We were forced to split up, the confused Klingons unsure of where to fire first. When I had found suitable cover, I glanced up to the person that had released the first barrage of laser fire. He was hooded, and carrying a Klingon gun with an impossibly large power rifle in his other hand. He shot with precision, never missing one that he had aimed at. I was forced to move before I could observe any more.

Our fight on the ground was messy and confusing, and every once in a short while I would catch a glimpse of my crewmates. I had just finished a Klingon when I heard a phaser fire behind me. Turning, I saw Uhura's phaser poised to shoot, with a dead Klingon behind me. We nodded to each other, and I ran to her, keeping close for safety's sake.

The other two Klingon ships dropped more enemies among us, but the stranger shot down one ship before they could hit the ground. The rest, the stranger killed with hand to hand combat. Whoever this man was, he was extraordinarily skilled in killing.

But he wasn't a mystery man for much longer. He pulled his hood back, grabbing a Klingon rifle as a replacement for his long-abandoned machine rifle. John Harrison stood, walking quickly. Uhura and I followed his train of sight, and dashed madly for the Captain and Spock. We made it to them mere seconds before Harrison, his gun poised and ready.

"Stand down!" Spock ordered, raising his own confiscated Klingon rifle.

Rifle still focused on Kirk, Harrison ignored the warning as well as the Vulcan who had spoken it. "How many of the new torpedoes are on board the Enterprise?"

"Stand down!" Spock repeated, more insistently this time.

Raising his weapon, Harrison fired with the same uncanny speed and skill he had already demonstrated to such devastating effect in the course of the preceeding confrontation. The shot blew Spock's weapon right out of his grasp, causing me to start and gasp.

While an equally stunned Kirk simply stared back at him, the renegade raised his weapon to point it directly at the Captain's face. "The torpedoes. The weapons you threatened me with in your message. How many are there?" His voice was insistent, demanding, and devoid of any indication that its owner had just participated in a lengthy battle so physically debilitating that he ought to have been fighting for breath instead of issuing calm commands.

Kirk didn't reply. I could see his hands shaking, and rage subtly masked on his face. I could understand, before him was the man responsible for killing Admiral Pike, Kirk's reason for joining StarFleet. Kirk's gaze moved to the gun in Harrison's hands.

"I wouldn't, Captain Kirk. I assure you that my feet can move faster than your hands." Harrison gestured ever so slightly with the weapon that hung easily from one hand, "Not to mention a phaser blast. I'll ask one last time: How many torpedoes?"

Kirk was still unable to answer, and I could tell his self control would not last much longer.

"Seventy-two." Spock said calmly, but I could tell that the Vulcan harbored disdain for the man across from him.

Clearly, the number that meant nothing to me, meant something to Harrison. While noting Spock's response, the renegade shifted his attention back to Kirk. "In that case," Harrison said, throwing his weapon down, "I surrender."

I was dumbfounded. Glances towards Uhura and Spock didn't get me any closer to enlightenment. They were equally bewildered by Harrison's action in voluntarily disarming himself. That didn't prevent Spock from recovering his own weapon and training it once more-with greater alertness-on the unexpected prisoner.

After a brief pause, Kirk rose to his feet, glaring at Harrison with such a look of pure hatred, that it made me want to hide behind Spock.

"On behalf of Christopher Pike," he said tightly, "I accept your surrender." Following which he struck out as hard as he could at Harrison.

Blow after blow landed as what I could only assume rage coursed through the Captain's veins. Spock stepped forward, only to stop when it became apparent that the object of Kirk's fury was not fighting back. Harrison didn't even raise his hands to defend himself. Making no attempt to ward off Kirk's fury, Harrison occasionally stumbled once or twice, staggering backwards under the repeated impact. Only when blood began to flow from his face did he reach up. Eyeing the red stain on his fingers, he smiled. His response was not contemptuous, not accusatory. Much more like the tone an exasperated adult might use with a child.

"Captain!" Uhura finally yelled.

Kirk paused, and looked at his bloodied knuckles. Stepping away from Harrison, his face was still twisted with hate, and I was nervous. "Cuff him." he said, walking back to the shuttle.

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** ok ok i get it, not the best cliffhanger in the world. But to get a good one, I'd have to write a WHOLE lot more. And i don't have time for that before camp. Again, a massive thank you to Spock4Eternity. she's amazing, y'all.**

**Well I know there wasn't much Spock and Turner action in this chapter, but given the setting, I didn't really think it appropriate. Maybe Next chapter?**

**Reviews are my life-force!**


	10. Open One, Captain

**Thanks to everyone who has followed and favorited in my absence! I love you all so much! It meant so much to come back from Colorado to an email inbox full of notices :)**

**I'm so so very that sorry it has taken me so long to update! my life is a bit hectic right now...**

**On a personal note, there are a few of you that will be interested in knowing that I've fallen in love. (Not that I know it's returned) And I'm kinda devastated because the guy I fell for? He lives in Texas most of the year... PM if you would like the whole story**

**Anyway, here's chapter Ten! :D**

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When we had again boarded the Enterprise, Kirk had Uhura tell Starfleet that they had Harrison in custody. So far there had been no response.

"You don't look good, Jim." McCoy said, "What's your concern?"

"I want you to run a full physio panel on our prisoner." Kirk answered.

The doctor's tone was, as was frequently the case, querulous. "Why, is he sick?"

"I don't know what he is, Bones." Kirk replied, "But I do know that he just took out an entire Klingon security team single handedly, I want to know how- and don't tell me it's because he has a good shooting eye. There's something else going on here that's more than passing strange. I need you to help me substitute "facts" for "strange"."

McCoy looked completive. "Sounds like we have a superman on board."

"You tell me." The captain looked over at Spock as the three men left the bridge.

It was a long while before the Doctor returned to the bridge, soon followed by Spock. Both men looked uneasy, and I knew it had to have something to do with our new prisoner.

Another long while later, the Captain came on the bridge, and McCoy immediately walked to his side. They spoke with hushed voices. That was, until Kirk said something Bones obviously objected to.

"Are you out of your corn-fed mind?!" McCoy exclaimed, causing Spock to rise and walk over to the two men. "You're not actually going to listen to this guy? He killed Pike, among numerous others," McCoy continued vociferously. "He almost killed you. And now you think it might be a good idea to pop open a torpedo just because he essentially dared you to?"

"He also saved our lives." Kirk replied calmly. "Mine, Spock's, Turner's, Uhura's. There's no disputing that. He could have killed me, killed all of us, with ease. Instead, he surrendered. I think it's important to know the reason why."

"That's what he wants you to think." McCoy said, not dissuaded. "Jim, someone like Harrison doesn't do things because they've suddenly experienced a change of heart. There's a reason behind everything they do, and it has nothing to do with a sudden penchant for philanthropy. If he saved your lives, he did so because he saw something in it for him. Something that would help advance his agenda-whatever that might be."

"The doctor does have a point, Captain." Spock added softly.

Looking away, an obviously agitated McCoy muttered: "Don't agree with me, Spock. It makes me very uncomfortable."

Kirk swung around in his chair to face both men. "Scotty quit because of those torpedoes. He wouldn't stay onboard without knowing what was inside them. I've decided that he was right, and not just because Harrison suggested it. We need to know."

McCoy gestured to the lift, stress lacing his voice. "Jim. That man in the brig is a homicidal maniac who wants us to blow ourselves up! Maybe that's why those 'new' torpedoes are on board. So he could maneuver you into poking through their guts. Maybe if anyone tries to open one, it's set to protect itself by self-destructing. He's hooked you with a challenge, don't you see that?"

Kirk looked thoughtful, and answered without looking up at the doctor. "No. No, that's too obvious a ploy, and whatever else Harrison is, he's not obvious. He's demonstrated that already. I think there's another reason he wanted to be brought aboard the Enterprise. We need to find out what that is."

"Maybe he wants to say all is forgiven so he can enlist." His tone acidic, McCoy continued. "I think he's gotten under your skin. He could be stalling for some reason. That would explain this challenge of his for us to go to these unvisited coordinates he gave you. He could be working with the Klingons!"

"Perhaps you, too, should learn to govern your emotions a little, Doctor," Spock broke in. "In this situation logic dictates-"

"Logic!" McCoy sputtered. "My God, there's a maniac trying to make us blow up our own ship and you're-"

Kirk raised a hand, forstalling the rest of the Doctor's rant. "I don't know why he surrendered, but that's not it. We're gonna open one of the torpedoes. That's my decision. The question is, how. What's the best way? The safest way?"

McCoy let out a snort. "I've heard the story behind the loading of those weapons. We have no schematics, no diagrams, no operating files. Without Mr. Scott onboard, there's no one appropriately qualified to pop open a newly designed four-ton stick of dynamite. Even engineering's weapons specialists won't attempt a break-in without explanatory software- or Mr. Scott's expertise."

Spock seemed to remember something. "May I offer a thought, Captain?"

Kirk eyed the science officer. "Always, Mr. Spock."

"It has come to my attention that we have two weapons specialists not under the department of engineering. Miss Turner and the admiral's daughter are both weapons specialists. The admiral's daughter has expressed interest in the torpedoes, perhaps she could be of some use."

Kirk whirled. Captain and physician gawked at the Vulcan. "What?!" Kirk stared hard at Spock, "What admiral's daughter?"

"Carol Marcus." Spock explained blithely. "Your new science officer concealed her true identity in order to be assigned to the Enterprise."

Kirk didn't attempt to conceal his bewilderment."When were you going to tell me this?"

"When it became relevant." a complacent Spock assured him. "As it just did."

I blinked in shock. When did he find this out? And what interested me more.. How did he find out?

"Are the torpedos in the weapons bay?" Carol Marcus asked the Captain, not looking to him as Spock and I followed Marcus and the Captain swiftly down the corridor.

"Prepped and loaded for use in the weapons bay." Kirk informed her. "What are they? What's so special about them other than that they're supposed to be undetectable when in flight?"

She looked over at him. "I don't know. That's why I manipulated a transfer onto your ship- to find out." Halting abruptly, she turned to face him, embarrassment on her face as Spock and I carried on. "I do apologize for that, and I am sorry, I'm Carol Marcus."

That was the last I heard of the conversation as Spock and I headed to my quarters. He waited outside while i changed into a more suitable outfit for the mission, and then we headed towards engineering. There we would find the weapons bay, and select the torpedo that Marcus and myself would be working on.

It seemed strange to me how uncomfortable we both seemed at the moment. I was nervous because of the weight of the mission, not to mention the consequences if I were to err in some way. Med bay wouldn't be able to help me in that situation. I didn't want to think about it either.

I ran my PADD over the closest torpedo. It couldn't read anything at all. No big surprise here. I instructed one of the engineering crew to take it and load it onto the transporter. There, it would be beamed down to a small desert planetoid, where no one would bother us. Marcus and myself would be going in by shuttle, taking our equipment with us.

When the ensign gathered a small group and had taken the torpedo away, Spock and I made our trek to the shuttle bay. "You did quite well with the ensign." Spock said unexpectedly, "Much better than even I expected under what I can only interpret as great stress and worry. Even the Captain himself would have been a bit short with the ensign."

"Thank you, Spock." I said, blushing a little. "I try not to take out what I feel on others. Sometimes I fail miserably though."

"It is understandable." Spock responded, stepping into the lift in front of me. "And I would expect that it is not often either." I followed, pressing the button for the shuttle bay level.

Only when the lift doors closed did I dare lean over and rest my head on his arm. I sighed, and he wrapped his arm around me, rubbing my arm slightly. "You'll do an excellent job, I'm sure." he said, lifting my face and kissing my forehead. "You were my choice for assistant for a reason."

He released his hold on me, the lift doors opened, and I walked out, hoping the extra color in my face would fade quickly. It was bad enough that Uhura could possibly know, I didn't need Kirk and Marcus knowing on top of that. Aside from that, I now had yet another thing to think about. What had he meant by "choice for assistant"? Had he chosen to have me aboard the Enterprise? Or was he referring to something I didn't yet understand?

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**Ok I know this was really short, and I apologize immensely. I wanted to get something out to you guys before I start school again. I feel really bad for how long it took me to get this to you... you have no idea.**

**Much love to everyone who's followed this!**


	11. Punch It

**Ok guys I'm so sorry that it has been so long since my last update. my life is über cray right now and with my senior year in full swing and helping out with lots of volunteer work in Yarnell, AZ and a bunch of other stuff, I'm pulling my hair out for time to write much of anything that isn't homework. Please feel free to stone me if you wish. But first, please enjoy this chapter, however short it may be.**  
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I stepped onboard the shuttle, anxious and apprehensive about the task set before me. I was a weapons specialist, but this technology was beyond me and my area of expertise. I could only hope that nothing disastrous would happen to me or Dr. Marcus.

I strapped myself into the copilot's seat, and Marcus took her place next to me. As we departed from the Enterprise and made our way to the planetoid, Marcus explained the situation to me, along with explaining her appearance on the Enterprise. I nodded slowly, glad that she might have a slight idea as to how to open this thing properly. Any experience was better than none.

When we landed, we worked together to get our equipment out of the shuttle and to the torpedo that had been beamed down. Marcus held a comm, Kirk's voice resonating from the speaker. I attached sensors to the torpedo, Marcus setting the comm on top of the torpedo and working on her PADD to isolate the control panel from the rest of the weapon. When she had done so, I pried open the protective shield to access the wiring. Stepping back to let Marcus scan the wiring, I grabbed the wire cutters so I could disarm the torpedo when I was told.

"Alright, there are a set of wires to the immediate right of the access door." Marcus said after a long silence. "I need you to cut the twenty-third one down from the top, can you do that?"

"Yes, I can." I said, kneeling to access the port better. I took a few deep breaths, the dead silence unnerving. I carefully counted, and then recounted, setting the cutters gently on the correct wire. With another deep breath, I snipped the wire.

Pain ripped through my arm as the hatch came sliding shut on my arm. I yelled, mentally proud that I hadn't screamed like a two year old girl. But the pain tearing through me was enough to push that side thought out of my mind with no hesitation. It didn't feel broken, but it was definitely bruised pretty badly.

"What the hell just happened?" I heard Kirk's voice through the comm, and then heard another voice from the Enterprise, informing him that the torpedo had just armed itself. The warhead would explode in sixty seconds, and at this rate, so would I.

"Lock onto their positions," Kirk ordered, "and bring them onboard right now."

Spock's response traveled through the speaker. "With her arm trapped inside of the torpedo, the transporter is unable to differentiate between Miss Turner and the torpedo. We cannot beam one back without the other. By the time we could get myself and a crew to the transporter room to free her.." Spock's voice seemed strained, even by human standards. I didn't want to think about what he was thinking of.

"Dr. Marcus, can you disarm the torpedo?" Kirk called, his own voice showing concern.

"I-I'm trying!" She called back as her hands flew across a control panel.

"Miss Turner," Spock's voice called, a little better restrained than last time, "Can you free yourself?"

"No," I almost shouted, panic lacing my tone, "I can't get my arm out!" It only took me a moment to accept the truth. "Captain, I'm doomed. Beam Dr. Marcus safely back to the ship, you shouldn't have any problems with that."

Before anyone onboard the ship could reply, Marcus snapped at me, "No! You beam me back, she dies! I can do this, dammit! Trust me!"

"Twenty seconds." I mumbled, steeling myself. I realized that this was the end for me. This wasn't exactly how I had envisioned my Starfleet career ending, but at least I went out with a bang. I also realized that I make terrible puns when I'm in danger.

I counted down in my head, only realizing that I also counted aloud when I had ten seconds left to live. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes, and waited for the inevitable. Instead of a fiery explosion, I was met with a loud curse from Marcus, followed by the torpedo abruptly releasing its grasp on my arm.

I stood up, rubbing my arm as I stumbled over to the torpedo, which was now opening itself up.

"Turner, are you all right?" Kirk called, "Report. Marcus?"

"Captain, you're going to want to see this.." I said, staring into the torpedo. A pale, frozen face stared back at me. Someone in a cryotube.

The torpedo-tube was beamed back onboard, and Marcus and I returned via our shuttlecraft. McCoy had the torpedo brought into the medbay for inspection of the cryotube, and myself for inspection of my injured arm. Marcus hovered over the deactivated weapon, gazing down at the restful, pale-white face of the man lying within. I had no idea how old the man inside the overgrown Popsicle was, at least physically. Who knew how old the cryotube was on top of the man's age.

I sat on an examination table while McCoy both ran a quick scan over me and oversaw the inspection of the cryotube. Kirk and Spock entered the room, Kirk nodding an acknowledgement to me, and then turning away. Spock's gaze lingered on me a moment longer, his expression unreadable.

"What have you learned?" Kirk immediately asked Marcus.

"A little, not nearly enough." She indicated the torpedo and its inexplicable contents. "It's brilliant, actually. Somebody managed to shrink the drive unit to the point where they had room for an additional compartment and retrofitted the space that had been freed up to accommodate a cryogenic capsule. A portion of the onboard stored energy meant to maintain the weapon's electronics and related systems was redirected to sustain the capsule's functionality." Marcus shook her head at the wonder of it all. "A capsule like this requires only minimal power to sustain cold stasis for a considerable period of time."

"Is he alive?"

McCoy spoke up. "Yeah, he's alive. His vitals are minimal, barely detectable, but they're there. Slowed waaayy down. To levels you'd want if you chose to take a long nap on the floor of the Antarctic Ocean."

Kirk pressed his chief physician. "Can he be revived?"

McCoy was plainly dubious. "Not without the proper equipment. You can't improvise this sort of thing. The same science that was used to put him in this state has to bring him out of it. If we try to bring him back without the proper instrumentation, the attempt could kill him as soon as revive him... This technology's beyond me."

"How advanced, Doctor?" an obviously intrigued Spock inquired.

"It's not advanced," Marcus explained, "That cryotube is ancient."

"We haven't had to freeze anyone since the early days of deep space exploration." McCoy added. "The discovery and development of warp capability made this particular brand of biotech obsolete. An instant antique. And speaking of antiques, that's the most interesting thing about our friend here. I did a quick scraping off his shoulder, less than a flea would take, nothing he' notice even if he was awake. But enough to run some tests." McCoy nodded at the torpedo and its frozen occupant. "He's three hundred years old."

Kirk and Spock glanced at each other. I didn't know what it was, but I could tell some sort of understanding passed between the two of them. McCoy went to get me something to lessen the pain in my arm, and Marcus left the medbay. Kirk turned on his heel to leave, and Spock followed. But not before he brushed his hand against my cheek, the unreadable expression crossing his face once more. With his brown eyes swimming in emotion, he left to follow Kirk.

After thanking the Doctor for his help, I left the medbay and sat at the science station on the bridge, waiting for Spock and Kirk to return from the brig. I heard a beeping coming from one of Sulu's monitors, and I glanced over my shoulder to see him frantically trying to detect what was going on. I turned and began running proximity scans from my station, and alerted Sulu when I had found something noteworthy.

"Proximity alert, sir." Sulu said into the comm, "There's a ship at warp heading right for us. It will intersect our coordinates in- I don't have a specific time, sir. Soon, a matter of minutes."

"Klingons?" Kirk's voice sounded through the speaker.

"I don't think it's Klingons, sir." I replied into my own comm, "It's not coming at us from Qo'noS or Praxis or any of the known outlying monitoring stations."

Kirk and Spock soon entered the bridge, Kirk snapping orders as soon as he stepped out of the lift.

"Mr. Sulu, do we have an ETA yet on the approaching ship?"

"Three seconds, sir."

After a pause in which the Captain's face fell an infantismal amount, Kirk spoke once more. "Shields," he crisply ordered.

Spock took his chair next to my own, flipping a few switches and adjusting a few dials.

It slammed out of warp from the depths of the green nebula that had been the most prominent stellar feature ever since the Enterprise had been left drifting. It dwarfed the Enterprise. Jet black, it was constructed along the general design of a Federation starship, but her lines were heavier, her entire appearance from greatly extended nacelles to bow more massive and armored. Weapons blisters were amply in evidence everywhere on the huge vessel. Every part of her had been reinforced, beefed up, and braced. A glance was sufficient to indicate that this was a ship that had been built not for exploration, but for battle.

Overwhelming in scope, it was so immense that it blocked out the entire view forward. This was the first Federation starship I had ever seen that looked... mean.

"Captain," Uhura announced, "they're hailing us, sir. Standard Starfleet intership communications frequency."

"On screen. Broadcast shipwide, for the record." Kirk replied.

Any rapidly fading notions that the crew of the new ship might be non-human vanished with the appearance of a familiar figure on the forward screen. He was immediately recognizable, seated on a bridge that was at once more advanced and somehow leaner, colder, than that of the Enterprise.

"Captain Kirk." Admiral Alexander Marcus' tone was professionally cordial.

Kirk nodded, "Admiral Marcus. I wasn't expecting you. That's a helluva ship."

"And I wasn't expecting to get word that you had taken Harrison into custody in direct violation of your orders. Or did you forget that you were directed to find him and take him out?" Marcus shook his head sadly. "Orders disobeyed are orders never forgotten; the more so when they're as simple and straightforward as the ones you were given." He leaned forward slightly in his dark command chair. "What happened, son? What went wrong?"

"The unexpected, sir. We had to improvise when we experienced a warp core malfunction." Kirk responded in what was a surprisingly innocent tone. "But you already knew that, didn't you sir?"

"I don't take your meaning." Marcus said, looking rather annoyed.

"Well, that's why you're here, isn't it? To assist us with repairs? Why else would the head of Starfleet personally bring his ship to the edge of the Neutral Zone?"

"Captain, they're scanning our ship." Sulu murmured to Kirk.

"Something I can help you find, sir?" Kirk asked rather smugly.

"Where's your prisoner, Kirk? And don't tell me he's no longer on your ship. You know what he did. You'd never release him from custody and certainly not back to Qo'noS. Tell me where you're holding Harrison, and drop your shields."

Kirk sat a little straighter in his own command chair. "No need for that, sir. As the captor, it's my duty and responsibility to maintain control of the prisoner until he can be turned over to the appropriate authorities. All as per Starfleet regulations. The fact that I'm familiar with his crimes changes nothing. I'm preparing to return Khan to Earth for trial, sir."

Expecting anger from the admiral, I was bemused when he instead sighed and scratched his forehead.

"Well, shit. You talked to him." Marcus shook his head sadly. "This is exactly what I was hoping to spare you from."

"'Spare me'?" Kirk said, obviously bewildered.

"Listen to me, son." Marcus' tone turned benign, "I made a mistake. I'm not afraid to admit that. There'd be no point in not. I took a tactical risk waking that bastard up, thinking his super brain could help us protect ourselves from whatever came at us next. At the moment, Klingons. In the future, who knows? I I was hoping to use this creature to give Starfleet a boost in combat knowledge, skills, and material development. At first, it seemed as if that was going to be exactly the result. My problem with your prisoner was that I didn't really know what he really was, and now the blood of everyone he's killed is on my hands. This is something I will have to deal with separately, on my own. But not until this episode is resolved. I blame you for nothing, Kirk. He fooled me, he's fooled you. Now I'm asking you: Give him to me so I can end what I started, and let's put all this behind us."

"An what would you like me to do with the rest of his crew, sir? Fire them at the Klingons? Murder seventy-two people and start a war in the process?" Kirk queried, his expression turning hard.

"War? Is that what he told you?" the Admiral scoffed, "He put those people in those torpedoes! Nobody else did that. What else did he tell you? That he's a peacekeeper? He's playing you, son! Don't you see that? Khan and his people were war criminals, condemned to death before they managed to get away! Now it is our duty to carry out the original sentence that was passed on the prisoner and his cohorts before anyone else dies because of them. So I'm asking you again. One last time, son. Lower your shields, and tell me where he is."

Kirk sighed. "He's in engineering, sir. Under heavy guard. But I'll have him moved to the transporter room right away."

Marcus was visibly relieved. While implying that he was prepared for a fight, it was clear to me that he didn't want one, and was pleased that it had been avoided.

"Thank you, son. I'll take it from here."

The image of Marcus on the view screen was replaced with the view of the enormous warship hanging in space.

The instant the link was dropped, Kirk looked to his helmsman. "Do not drop those shields, Mr. Sulu."

"Yes sir." Sulu acknowledged.

Spock spoke. "Captain, bearing in mind that you are aware of the true whereabouts of Khan in the medbay leads me to belive that you are contriving a plan that conflicts with what you just told the Admiral."

"Can't fool you, Spock. My plan consists of doing exactly what we said we were going to do. I told Marcus we were bringing a fugitive back to Earth to stand trial, and that's what we're going to do." he addressed his comm pickup. "Mr. Chekov, can we warp?"

I heard the young russian man's garbled response, the background noise of engineering almost drowning him out.

"Can we do it?" Kirk pressed, not happy with the rather noncommittal answer.

"Technically, yes, but I would not adwise it, Kiptin!"

"Noted." Kirk replied, terminating the link. "Set course for Earth, Mr. Sulu."

"Yes sir." It took the helmsman scarcely a moment to enter the necessary command. "Course laid in."

"Punch it."

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**I hope you enjoyed this little tibit I worked out to get to you! I'm so sorry again, and please, reveiew! It always makes my day happy!**


	12. Earthbound and Down

**Hello guys! Here's the next chapter! I have almost the entire story written out now, it's just in the editing and polishing process :) please review! I'm starving, I can't remember the last review I had. I love you all soo much, thank you for your amazing support! **

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Sulu did as the Captain said, and soon we were in the tunnel-like expanse of stars that was warp speed. I found something in the back of my mind whispering that we weren't safe yet, but the rest of me felt a bit more relaxed and secure.

Abnormal vibrations interspersed with the occasional atypical jolt were enough to let me know that not everything was alright with the ship's engines. Despite that, every pertinent readout indicated that we were traveling at the specified speed. The Enterprise continued through warp space until indicators showed that they were approaching their destination.

"Uhura, contact Starfleet." Kirk said from his command chair, "Identify us and tell them we were pursued into the Neutral Zone by an unmarked Federation ship."

Uhura interrupted him. "I can't do that, sir. Comms are down. All ship auxiliary power is being diverted to warp."

I had just allowed myself to relax a little more when Carol Marcus came running onto the bridge.

"Permission to come on the bridge!" she exclaimed even as she was halfway to the command chair. Her expression was frightened, her tone urgent. Kirk eyed her uncertainly.

"Dr Marcus?" he asked incredulously.

"He's going to catch up with us, and when he does, the only thing that's going to stop him from destroying this ship is me. You have to let me talk to him."

"Carol, we're at warp/ He can't catch up with us."

"Yes, he can." she was utterly positive. "He's been developing a ship that has Mark IV capabilities, and-"

The sounding of the ship's proximity alarm interrupted her, its blare counterpointed by cries of surprise and astonishment from bridge personnel. Of course, Kirk diverted his attention to his helmsman.

"Mr. Sulu, what is going on?"

Scarcely looking up from his instrumentation, Sulu reported the impossible. "Captain, I'm getting a reading I don't understand. There's a - distortion, a big one. Something is in the warp tunnel behind us."

At that very moment, the ship was rocked violently by laser fire. I grasped the edge of my chair, trying not to fall off. I could hear various departments giving reports across the bridge, most of them very bad. Not one of them was in any way good.

"Damage report!" Kirk called out, grasping the arms of his chair. "Where are we?"

"Shields are dropping, all weapons systems are offline!" Sulu reported promptly, "We're twenty thousand kilometers from Luna."

"Almost home." Kirk muttered. "So close."

"Captain," Spock announced, "Marcus' ship clearly has advanced warp and weapons capabilities proportionate to her size."

Another blast rocked the artificial gravity on the bridge. I cringed, knowing that if we lost our gravity, we really would be helpless.

"Evasive maneuvers!" Kirk cried, "Get us to Earth now! Full impulse! Once we cross the halfway point between home and the moon, we can-"

"Shields are gone, Captain," Sulu broke in, "Impulse power failing! We're losing the last of our powered forward momentum."

Having been thrown to the deck by an earlier concussion, Carol Marcus finally managed to pull herself up and totter over to where Kirk was standing. Protocol forgotten, she stepped so close in front of Kirk that he could not avoid her.

"Please, we are going to die, all of us, if I don't talk to him!" she exclaimed, exasperated.

"Lt. Uhura, hail them." Kirk said.

The screen flickered to life, and Admiral Marcus' face appeared.

"Sir, it's me, it's Carol. I'm here, on the Enterprise."

"What are you doing on that ship?" Marcus replied, his tone harsh and demanding.

Father or no father, it was plain to see that she was scared of the man on the view screen.

"I heard what you said, Father. That you made a mistake, and now you're doing everything you can to fix it. But, Dad- I don't believe that the man who raised me is capable of destroying a starship full of innocent people to fulfill your aims. And if I'm wrong about that-" she paused for a moment, her face shifting from fearful to defiant, "-then I guess you'll have to do it with me on board."

A terrible moment of silence ensued as the Admiral pondered his daughter's declaration. Apparently reaching a decision, he leaned forward to peer intently into the video pickup in front of his command chair. Unsettlingly, he did not sound particularly concerned.

"Actually, Carol, I won't." He glanced to his left.

Both Carol's eyes and my own widened as the meaning of the admiral's words struck home. As an all-too-familiar set of lights began to swarm her, she turned helplessly toward Kirk.

"Can we intercept their signal?" he called out.

"No, sir!" a tech quickly responded.

Pushing past Kirk, Carol ran for the turbolift. While she couldn't hide from the other ship's transporter signal, if she could confuse it for a while, the transport would cease. I started after her, logic telling me that interposing myself into the field might just possibly throw it off enough to render at least the first transportation attempt a failure. I reached out and grabbed Carol's arm, but my idea did not prove to be reliable. My own logic had failed me, and I was no longer aboard the Enterprise.

Carol and I appeared on the bridge of the enemy starship, face to face with the Admiral as Kirk finished what seemed to be an apology.

The Admiral seemed impressed, but not moved. "Fire." his voice echoed through the bridge.

My heart fell through to my feet and downward. "No.." I whispered, tears streaming down my cheeks. Spock, Kirk, my new friends, they all would die, and I had been saved inadvertently through trying to save Carol. I silently sobbed, my world crumbling around me.

"Sir!" one of the bridge hands reported, "our weapons won't fire! Phasers and torpedoes alike are inoperative, shields are down, and we're losing power!"

"Someone in Engineering just manually reset every system on the ship, sir!" another tech called out, hands flying across his screens.

"What do you mean 'someone'?" the Admiral snarled, "WHO?"

"The computer doesn't give any identification codes, sir." the tech responded, "For all we know they're not even one of ours."

"How long until we're back online?" Admiral Marcus inquired angrily.

"Unsure, Captain. Could be five minutes," the tech replied, "and it could be an hour. I will keep you updated as we know more."

Amidst all of this confusion, a security team had taken myself and Carol's arms and pinned them behind our backs. No shackles had been placed but I was sure they would come soon enough. One shady move and we would both be in chains, with absolutely no hope of escaping. Not that our chances were very good right now anyway. It seemed an eternity before the Captain rose to talk to a different station's tech, and we were prodded into following.

"Admiral." the guard said in a dull monotone.

"I'll deal with you, in a minute." the Admiral said to Carol, then turning to me, added, "And you too, whoever the hell you are."

But it seemed that Carol had other ideas. Stepping forward and away from the guards, who apparently had relinquished their tight hold on her, Carol stood right in front of her father. She drew a hand back, and smacked her father across the face. My heart leapt to my throat, and the Admiral mutely stared at her, eyes wide.

"I've been trying to prepare what to say at this moment," she snapped at him, "and it all comes down to something fairly simple. I am ashamed to be your daughter."

Spotting an empty station seat to the side, with a step right next to it, the guards pulled us away from the Admiral. Presumably they didn't want to be reprimanded for allowing the prisoners to injure the Admiral. They shoved Carol down into the seat, and made myself to sit on the step next to it. Carol's eyes burned into her father's head, even when he wasn't looking at her. I wasn't entirely sure that the Admiral was finished with either of us yet, but whatever he had in mind had to take a back seat to a report from another officer on the bridge.

"Sir, we've just recorded an unscheduled opening and subsequent closing of an outer door on deck thirteen. It appears to have been initiated manually."

The Admiral didn't look very surprised. "Khan." he muttered. "Secure the bridge and all of it entrances. For the time being, no one goes out, and more importantly, no one comes in, is that clear?"

"Yes sir." the frazzled- sounding tech replied, and I heard doors locked from all directions.

"And set security teams out to find the intruders. There's got to be at least two of them, and they're most likely together right now." The Admiral ordered, "I do not want them anywhere near this bridge."

The tech acknowledged, and carried through with the Admiral's orders.

Left to my thoughts, I now had time to contemplate many things. Who's side was Khan really on? Could we even trust him to help us? What if this was a carefully orchestrated plan to kill everyone? Then my thoughts shifted. What was Spock thinking of right now? Did he think Carol and myself were dead? Was he in the rescue party that had snuck in? Or was he on the bridge of the Enterprise, trying to locate the two science officers that were now marooned aboard this leviathan of a ship? My mind swam, as even more questions were brought to my mind. Like how had Uhura seemingly known about myself and Spock aboard that vessel to Qo'noS? If I thought about these things for too much longer, I was sure that my head would explode.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by an officer speaking to the Admiral. "Power coming back online, sir."

"Excellent." the Admiral said, "Re-target the Enterprise."

My heart stopped for a moment, the tears returning.

"Fire all weapons on my order."

The doors to the turbolift snapped open and the three men who burst from within were firing before anyone on the bridge could react.

First to go down was the ensign in control of the starship's weapons systems, struck in the back of the head by the blast from Kirk's phaser. Throwing himself to one side, the captain brought down another crew member before he could draw his sidearm. As the crewman looming over myself and Carol moved to engage the intruders, Carol swiftly stood and placed an elbow to his shin, while I kicked his knees out from under him.

Though intense, the melee on the bridge did not last long. With all three men firing rapidly and Khan dealing with those who managed to avoid the phasers, it was only a matter of moments before the trio had gained complete control of the ship.

Before Khan could say or do anything else, Kirk nodded to the third man, and he fired once. The stun blast hit Khan square in the back, and he went down. Moving to the body, Scot knelt, and nodded at Kirk.

"Make sure he stays down, Scotty." Kirk said, and I realized the phasers must have been set to stun.

Keeping his own phaser aimed at the Admiral, Kirk now moved to stand closer to Carol and I. Captain and Admiral regarded each other across the open space of the bridge: one behind his weapon, the other behind his ire.

"Admiral Alexander Marcus, by authority granted me under the relevant Starfleet regulations governing the use of unauthorized and excessive force, I hereby relieve you of command and place you under arrest."

The Admiral sounded more exasperated than upset. It was plain that he was not about to go quietly. "You're not really going to do this, are you? Do you still really think Starfleet is about exploring 'strange, new worlds'? That's a fantasy, Kirk. The galaxy is wide, dark, and dangerous, populated by sentients who are collectively paranoid, warlike, and sometimes both. Their quest for species superiority has nothing to do with stealing other worlds' resources or enslaving an entirely different populace- it's all about bragging rights. About who is superior and who should bow down. If you think Starfleet was put together as a scientific enterprise, that's another fantasy. We're there to protect all the idiot scientists who don't give a rat's ass about war if they only get their next discovery."

Kirk seemed to think for a slight moment. "Get out of the chair."

"I want you to stop and think about what you're doing, Kirk." the Admiral tried again, "Not about some imaginary future confrontation. About right now, what you did on Qo'noS. You were on their home world illegally, unauthorized. The Klingons will see it as murder, not arresting and questioning. Nothing changes the fact that war with the Klingons is coming. And who's going to lead us? You? Think this over carefully, Kirk. Because if you think I'm abandoning this ship and leaving quietly with you, you're going to have to kill me."

"I'm not going to kill you, sir." neither the steady tone of Kirk's voice nor the muzzle of the weapon he held had wavered in the slightest. "But I could stun your ass and drag you out of that chair. But I'd rather not do that in front of your daughter."

I heard a muted snort from Carol, to which I almost smiled.

"You alright?" Kirk asked her.

"Yes, Captain." Carol said, her voice a bit shaken.

In a blur, Khan was suddenly on his feet and knocked Scotty out.

"Jim!" Carol and I shouted in unison.

It didn't matter how fast Kirk could react, Khan was faster. A leap, a grab, and a squeeze, and a body slam put Kirk down. Lifting the Captain as if he were weightless, Khan threw him against the far wall.

Carol scrambled to intercept him, and I followed, knowing she could do nothing alone.

"Listen, wait!" she shouted.

Contemptuously, Khan threw her and I to the floor. Though he pulled the kick he delivered to the right thigh of Carol instead of her face, the sickening snap and her high-pitched scream was enough to tell me he'd broken her leg. Only too late did I realize what was going on, and I was thrown against a wall, landing strangely on my left arm, pain racing through my wrist. Winded, I could only watch helplessly as Khan moved on.

Khan's lips tightened ever so slightly as he placed an open palm on either side of the admiral's head and began to squeeze. "You- you-should have let me sleep."

The snapping sound that followed was overwhelmed by screams. After a moment, I realized that they originated from myself and Carol. And I could only look on, unable to help.

Khan moved on as if nothing had happened, dragging Kirk to his feet and standing him in front of the captains chair. Khan hailed the Enterprise, holding Kirk up by the collar of his shirt. When the hail was received, I could hear Spock's voice through the comm.

"Captain?" he said uncertainly.

"I'm going to make this very simple for you, Mr. Spock." Khan told him softly.

"Captain." Spock said again, and I could just barely hear the fear hidden in his tone.

"Your crew," Khan continued, "For my crew."

I could just barely see the view screen from my spot on the floor. I sat up, clutching my broken wrist, to get a better view of Spock and the Enterprise. Spock looked conflicted, and it appeared that he made eye contact with me for a moment. But my imagined moment past, and Spock's face was once more an emotionless mask.

"You have betrayed us." Spock said evenly.

There was a pause, and then Khan smiled. There was pleasure in it, but no amusement. "Oh you are smart, Mr. Spock."

Kirk decided that now was the time to speak up. "Listen to me, Spock! Don't do-"

Khan cut Kirk off in mid-sentence with a blow from the butt of the phaser he was holding, dropping Kirk to the deck. As Kirk struggled to regain his breath, Khan turned back to the video pickup. It was evident that he was tiring of games of any kind.

"Give me my crew."

"What will you do when you get them?" Spock asked, and I wondered what on earth he wanted to know for.

"Continue the work we were doing before we were banished"

"Which is?" One eyebrow lifted quizzically.

"Making the world a better place." There was not so much ass a suggestion of irony in Khan's reply.

"Which according to my understanding, constitutes the destruction of any being you see to be less than superior." Spock replied, his voice firm.

"Shall I destroy you, Mr. Spock?" Khan snapped back, "Or will you give me what I want?"

"We have no transporter capabilities." Spock replied. I finally understood why he was doing all of this. He was stalling for time. But why did he need more time?

"Fortunately, mine are perfectly functional." Khan replied.

"If I do so," Spock responded, "I have no guarantee that you will not kill the captain and destroy the Enterprise."

"Ah, so let's play this out 'logically'." Khan sneered. "Firstly, I will kill your captain to demonstrate my resolve. If yours holds firm, I will have no choice but to kill you and your entire crew. So you see, you can turn over my crew to me and subsequently trust me to let you live, or I can kill you and your colleagues and recover my crew afterward."

"And yet," Spock replied, "If you destroy the Enterprise, you destroy your own people as well."

"Your crew requires oxygen to survive, mine does not. O will selectively target your life support systems located in the vicinity of the engine nacelles. Once everyone aboard your ship has suffocated, I will walk over your cold corpses until I recover my people." Khan said, his smirk both menacing and chilling. "Now, shall we begin?"

"Lower shields, Mr. Sulu."

"A wise choice, Mr. Spock." Khan said, kicking Kirk on his way over to another monitor. "If they're not mine, Commander, I will know it."

"Vulcans do not lie." Spock replied solemnly. The way he said that cued my intuition that Spock was not telling Khan everything about the six dozen torpedoes.

"Thank you, Mr. Spock."

"I have fulfilled your terms." Spock told him stiffly. "Now fulfill mine."

"Why not? It will make no difference, in the end." Looking over at Kirk, who was struggling to keep his balance, Khan spoke condescendingly. "Well Kirk, it seems that I have to return you to your crew, as mine has been returned to me. After all," he paused, "No ship should go down without her captain."

When the swirls of light had finished transporting all of us, we were trapped inside of the very cell that Khan had been placed in earlier. Scotty started pounding on the barrier, getting the security guard's attention so we could escape from here.

We were racing to med bay, Scotty and Kirk carrying Carol, with me in hot pursuit behind them. My wrist still throbbed, and it was a bit swollen, but nothing as painful as Carol's injury, I'm sure.

The loudspeakers throughout the ship sprang to life. "Crew of the Enterprise, this is Commander Spock. All decks prepare for imminent proximity detonation."

"What the hell is he talking about?" Scotty breathed, "Proximity detonation? What detonation?"

My eyes widened at the realization. He had stalled for time.. "The torpedoes. He armed the damn torpedoes." I said.

We dropped Carol off in the med bay, and I grabbed a brace for my wrist. I would deal with healing later.

"He killed Khan's crew. I don't believe it." Kirk breathed as we greeted McCoy on our way out.

"No, he didn't. Spock's cold, but not that cold. I've got Khan's crew." McCoy said, gesturing to med bay. "Seventy two human popsicles."

"Brace for impact." Spock's voice echoed again as I started for the bridge once more with Kirk and Scotty running to engineering, so the Enterprise could get going again.

I was almost flung through a wall at the concussion from the explosion, but I managed to shake it off and keep going. I reached the bridge as Sulu was giving a report.

"Given our present rate of decent, sir, there's nothing near enough to get anything big enough to us in time to halt our drive."

The lights flickered and went out, even the red backup lighting flickering uncontrollably.

"Commander, given what I'm seeing here," he said, "I can't do anything. If we can't get engine power or shields back online," Sulu declared as he worked his instrumentation, "we'll be incinerated on entry."

Spock's face was one of deep contemplation. "Lt Uhura, sound evacuation, all decks." spinning the command chair, he briefly acknowledged me, a strange look crossing his face before turning to speak into the comm. "As acting captain, I order you to abandon ship." A touch of a control set in one arm activated the emergency harness.

Although all eyes were on him, not one of us moved.

"I will remain aboard," he continued, "to re-route all remaining power to life support, gravity, and shuttle bays. I order you to abandon ship."

No one moved from their stations.

Spock repeated the command, more forcefully this time. "I order you all to abandon this ship!"

"With all do respect, Commander-" Sulu started, glancing around.

"But we're not going anywhere." I finished, pressing my own crash harness. Harnesses clicked into place all across the bridge.

"Mr. Sulu," Spock exclaimed as the ship began to plummet, "Divert all remaining power to stabilizers!"

"Doing what I can, sir." the helmsman replied as he desperately fought to comply, "Doing what I can."

I began working at the science station, gathering statistics about the power used throughout the ship, and where everyone was. The more I found out, the more I could streamline our power usage, maybe even find a little more energy to let Sulu use for stabilization. My mind worked frantically, my right hand not working alone nearly as fast as both would have, and not even close to as fast as I wanted it to. Freaking superman Khan and his moody decisions. It was a fast acceleration to death, but I wasn't giving in quite yet. Only when my console lost power, did I sit back, spin my chair around, and accept the inevitable. I wasn't going to make it off of this ship.

I looked at Spock, who turned to gaze at me in return. An unspoken conversation ensued with our eyes, and I could feel the tears streaking down my face. I didn't want it to end this way, not now. A great shudder and moan rocked the bridge, and my safety harness unclasped, pitching me into the floor. I cried out in pain as I landed on my braced arm, trying not to cry any more because of it.

I drug myself over to the captain's chair, content to sit next to it while awaiting my death. A firm but gentle arm pulled me up to sit in the chair, which surprisingly fit the both of us. Spock wrapped his arms around me to keep me secure, and I sheepishly gripped the arm that wound round my front side. I sighed, at least if I did have to die today, I would die in Spock's arms, his warm breath in my hair as my head lay on his chest. Under normal circumstances I would have been blushing like mad, and incapable of anything, but given this set of circumstances, I was silent and pale-faced.

Suddenly, the lights flickered back to life, and consoles lit back up.

"Full power back online!" Sulu exclaimed excitedly, with a bewildered expression on his face.

"Maximum thrusters, Mr. Sulu." Spock ordered immediately. I could hear his voice in his chest just as well as in the air, and a small part of me reveled in being so close to him.

"Stand by, stand by!" the helmsman shouted.

As I glanced out the forward view panels, the ship plunged through the first thick layer of cumulus clouds, the sudden and unexpected restoration of full sound and light taking me by surprise.

"Hold on!" Sulu ordered. I subconsciously gripped Spock's arm tighter, my entire body tensing.

Slowly, but surely, we stopped our rapid decent through Earth's atmosphere and began ascending to float above the clouds once more.

"Shields restored." declared an officer from his station.

"Commander, power online." added another.

I released my death grip on his arm, and sat up straighter as everyone released their safety harnesses.

"It's a miracle." insisted an ensign two stations away.

"There are no such things." Spock said, though his voice seemed unsure.

"Engineering to bridge. Mr. Spock?" Scotty's voice echoed through the comm.

"I am here, Mr. Scott. Since it would appear that congratulations are in order all around, I am pleased to-"

"Sir, you'd better get down here. Better make it fast."

**O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O**

**Thanks for reading, and please review! :D **


	13. Can You Beam Someone Down?

**Ok so this chapter is a little shorter than my others have been, but I was having the hardest time finding a good place to break it off...**

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Spock heeded the gravity of Scotty's tone, and immediately rose and ran for the turbolift.

"Mr. Scott," I added, "What is the problem?"

"It's the Captain, Miss Turner." Scotty replied, "He's- he's.."

I was out of the chair as quickly as Spock, racing to the unused turbolift. There was no way this was happening.. What could have possibly happened to Kirk? Did debris fall on him during our artificial gravity failures? Did he fall from somewhere? I didn't want to think about the possibilities.

But the possibility that was truth never entered my mind. It was one thing to expect the worst, another to have it confirmed. I ran through to the warp core mainframe, and gasped, my tears flowing fast and hard. Kirk lay in the decontamination chamber, presumably after manually realigning the core.

"Any advice?" Kirk choked out, causing my sobs to become slightly audible.

"Captain?" Spock asked, his voice thick with emotion.

"I'm... Scared, Spock. Help me...not be. How do you choose... not to feel?"

"I do not know." Spock replied softly, his voice cracking. "Right now I am failing. Because you are my friend."

Kirk struggled to place his hand against the glass separating the two men, and Spock did the same on his side. It was a close as they could get. I could hear Spock crying now. Though he was not as loud as me, I could barely believe what I was seeing. A Vulcan, crying. Showing such an intense emotion, even humans disliked it.

Kirk's hand held it's position against the transparency for a moment longer. Then, it slid downward, as the Captain's eyes turned away from Spock, to gaze upward. They stopped moving. I glanced over to see Scotty crying as well, even if silently.

Then, Spock shouted at the top of his lungs a name.

"KHHAAAAANNNNNNNN!" Spock trembled with rage and sadness, standing.

"He had to have survived his ship's destruction. It sunk to earth faster than we did, but being superhuman and all.." I said, "There's a chance he's still alive." My voice started weak and broken, but my own fury at the man strengthened me.

By the time Spock and myself had returned to the bridge, Khan's ship had finished moving, stuck in the middle of the San Francisco's Starfleet Academy.

"Search the ship for life." Spock stated, and I leapt to my station, running full scans of the ship.

"Sir, there's no way anyone could have survived the impact." Sulu said.

"He could." Vulcan though he was, Spock still managed to make the observation sound like a curse.

A short while later, I found him.

"Got it! One life-form." I declared. "He just jumped thirty feet to the ground below."

"That's him." Spock confirmed. "Can we beam him up?"

"He's moving too fast, and there are too many other people around, I can't get a lock on him." Sulu responded.

I rose to stand behind Spock as he ordered Sulu to keep trying. Spock turned to look at me, the same strange expression crossing his face. Our eyes locked, and I could feel that mine were still wet. "Go get him." I said, my voice low and thick with anger and sorrow.

When Spock reached the transporter room, Chekov gave the coordinates, and Spock was beamed down to the surface. I kept tabs on all of his vitals, Khan's and Spock's location, and continued to try to beam Khan back to the Enterprise.

It was a dreadful wait, with no progress what so ever in the transporter department, when Dr. McCoy's voice practically screamed through the comm.

"McCoy to bridge. I can't reach Spock from sickbay. Listen to me! Khan, I need him alive. You get that murderous sonofabitch back on this ship right now." he took a deep breath. "I think he can save Kirk."

"Can we beam them up to the ship yet?" Sulu asked Chekov.

"No! They keep moving, I can't get a lock on either of them."

Looking over Sulu's shoulders, I had already come to a decision. "Can you beam someone down?"

I raced to the transporter room, my phaser set to stun. "Energize."

I came out on a barge, soaring through the city skyline. I took aim with my phaser, shooting at a surprised Khan. The pain in my wrist flared with every kick given from the shot, but I would not give up until this man was out cold. So far, he was only slowed, not stopped.

Slowed by the hits from my phaser, Khan was unable to defend himself from the onslaught of punches Spock now threw at him. As Khan staggered, refusing to go down, Spock grabbed the enhanced human's extended arm and executed a formal Vulcan martial-arts move. Only unlike in training, this time he did not stop himself halfway through the movement.

Khan's arm snapped. As Khan cried out, Spock spun him and slammed him down onto the metal deck. Crouching atop his helpless enemy, Spock proceeded to throw punch after punch to Khan's face.

After a moment, I realized that Spock had to stop if we were to save the Captain.

"Spock!" I screamed to be heard above the roaring motors of the barge. "Spock, STOP!"

Spock didn't seem to hear me. He continued pummeling Khan, blood spattering. I shivered when I realized that some of it was green.

"Spock, Spock- stop!" I shouted, kneeling in front of him. "He's our only chance to save Kirk!"

Spock froze, staring up at me in disbelief. I nodded, cringing internally at the green gashes adorning his face. Spock placed one final blow, not to kill Khan, but to incapacitate and knock him out cold.

Beaming up to the Enterprise was no trouble after that. The unconscious Khan was restrained in a gurney and taken to med bay, where McCoy drew some of his blood, and then put him in a cryotube. McCoy would be working hard until he could formulate a syrum like Khan's blood to save Kirk. But for now, the threat was over.

Spock and myself also resided in med bay for a small while. Myself for an inspection of my wrist, Spock for the numerous injuries he had sustained while apprehending Khan. When we were released, we went to the bridge together. The Enterprise was being docked for repairs, and we would all be taking shuttles down to the surface.

Stepping into the turbolift, Spock pushed the button for the bridge level. I stepped in with him, and as soon as the doors had closed, I wrapped my arms around him without hesitation. He returned the gesture, pressing his lips to my hair.

"I'm so glad that you're alright." I whispered into his chest.

"As am I, Jamie." he murmured into my hair.

"I think we'll have a lot of talking to do." I said, pulling back a little bit.

"I agree." he said softly. "But first-"

He pressed his lips to mine, causing my mind to swim. I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. My hand slid into his neatly trimmed hair, noting how soft it was. We broke apart seconds before the lift stopped, the doors opening.

"Yes," I mumbled. "Talk later."

I glanced back at him, and I could have sworn I saw him smirk just a little, the white bandages on his face shifting.

When I reached my shuttle for the return trip home, I sat in the very back, not wanting to talk to anyone at the moment. The other passengers spoke to themselves in hushed tones. The majority of this shuttle was ensigns and assistants like myself, with one or two of the senior Engineering staff. I was staring off into space when I was surprised by a presence next to me. I looked up to see Spock sitting there, his warm brown eyes greeting me just as much as his voice did.

"Hello." I said, "Fancy seeing you here."

His lips turned up at the corners a trivial amount. "Indeed. Are you ready for that talking you spoke of in the lift?"

I smiled to myself at the memory of the lift, and nodded. "Sure, I guess."

"Do you wish to begin?"

"Yea. I just wanted to say, that I'm really glad that you're ok, that everyone's ok really. I mean even Kirk is going to make it now. I was so scared for so long, I didn't think I was going to make it. It really started when I got transported with Carol Marcus, I guess. Not knowing if you would get shot to smithereens or not, or if I would even make it back to you. Though I was scared at Nibiru as well, when you were in the volcano. But my timeline digresses. I guess the next is when Khan took over." I grimaced at his name, and I swore I heard a rumbling noise, like a growl, from Spock's chest. "I was terrified that he was going to kill you, and everyone else on the Enterprise. It was even worse when I got beamed back aboard. I felt a little safer when his ship was destroyed, but then when we lost power I knew that we were going to die. Or at least I thought I knew."

I paused, partly to catch my breath, partly to gauge Spock's reaction to my rambling.

"Is that all you wish to convey?" he said quietly.

"No. When we started falling, and I got jerked out of my chair, I was perfectly happy to sit next to the chair. Why did you pull me into it."

It was a while before Spock answered me. "I know that perhaps you thought it was pointless, our doom on the not so distant horizon. But there were many things going through my head." he said. "Firstly being that if we were going to die, I wanted to have you with me in my arms. Secondly, I had the illogical hope that somehow we would make it. Though illogical, my hope proved to be correct."

I nodded slowly. "That first reason, I kind of shared. That's why I scooted to be closer to you." I replied. "But when I learned that Khan could save Kirk, I wasn't scared anymore for some reason. I just wanted to help you get him taken down. I felt a pang of fear when I saw the position you were in. But I knew I could help. And I guess, here we are now."

It was a long while before Spock responded, though I was perfectly happy with him just holding my hand.

"I was fearful for your life as well. Many times over." he whispered, his voice almost as thick as it had been by the warp core. "The torpedo on the planetoid, transported to the other ship, the ship falling down. All of those moments brought nothing but fear and dread to me." he glanced down at me, a slight smile on his face, "You have tenancies to bring out the human in me." he finished, kissing my forehead. I rested my head on his shoulder, content with silence. I closed my eyes, happy in this moment.

"I knew it." I heard a feminine voice state.

I opened my eyes, and looked around the transport until I saw Lt. Uhura smiling at us from across the transport.

"I just knew there was something between you two." She smiled. "Best wishes." she said, winking, as I blushed beet red to the roots of my hair.

Spock seemed to be amused by my reaction. I just sighed and rested my head on his shoulder once more, closing my eyes as we came closer to Earth's green surface.

I had apparently fallen asleep in the short shuttle ride, and Spock shook me out of my stupor. I exited the shuttle alongside him, glad to breathe in the crisp air again. Spock took my hand, leading me away from the shuttle docks, and out towards the Academy We came to a stop in a large park, trees growing everywhere, spotted among the grass. Sitting down under a tree, we talked for what seemed like only minutes, but was really hours.

"I have to really thank you, Jamie." he murmured after a period of silence.

"For what?"

"After the loss of my mother, I was scared of allowing any human emotion to ever surface, especially love." he said, "In a way, you've helped me to learn to love again, and I am extremely grateful."

I leaned over to press my lips to his. "You're very welcome. Although I can't truthfully say it was entirely for unselfish reasons."

He smiled slightly. I was startled by his comm alerting him of an incoming call.

"Commander Spock." he said as he opened the link.

"It's McCoy." the doctor said. "Jim should be alright, and contious soon enough. Just thought I'd let you know so you don't get both of your Vulcan feelings hurt."

"I appreciate it, doctor." Spock responded. "I would be open to receiving notification when you have a closer idea when the Captain will be awaking."

"Alright." McCoy answered irritably, "You green-blooded hobgoblin."

The link was terminated, and I smiled. "That's great to hear."

"Indeed." Spock said, "It is very comforting to know that Jim will be alright."

We sat there a while longer, enjoying the sun and an environment that for once wasn't going to fail us at any given time.

Hours later, I returned to my quarters on Earth, and lay in my bed. My mind was muddled and didn't want to fully comprehend the entire adventure quite yet, but I knew one thing for sure. I was in love with Spock, and I was fairly certain that he loved me back.

It would be a while before Kirk was recovered enough to regain consciousness, as Dr. McCoy told us. Kirk's body was at times trying to reject the infusion, and it was requiring the medical specialist to keep the Captain in an induced coma, ensuring that Kirk's body would not go into shock upon awakening. When Spock received the news, his expression was one of both relief and sadness. Relief that his best friend would live, but sorrow at what was having to be done to ensure his life.


	14. Meld-Merized

**So this chapter is going to have a lot more Spock/Jamie in it. :) just to tease XD**

**O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O**

Five days after our return to Earth, I was woken with a knock on my door. Running my fingers through my hair, I answered the door, praying that my hair wasn't too terrible. When I opened my door, my face burned, and I looked down. Spock stood in my doorway, looking just as good in casual clothing as he always did in Starfleet uniforms.

"Umm, good morning," I stuttered, embarrassed "Would you like to come in."

"Of course." He said softly, a smile just barely touching his lips. When he had entered, I closed the door and turned around, only to be me with his lips brushing mine briefly. "You look beautiful." he whispered.

I blushed even brighter red, unable to respond. "Excuse me." I stammered, nearly running my room to change and comb out my hair. When I emerged, I sported a comfy pair of jeans, and a casual blouse to match. I hadn't bothered with shoes, leaving my feet covered only by my socks.

"Ok, now I can say good morning properly." I smiled, walking into my living room. Spock sat on the end of my large sofa, looking up at me curiously.

"You looked perfectly fine before." he murmured.

"I wasn't about to go anywhere except back to bed in those clothes." I responded, "And my hair was knotted really bad."

He simply shrugged.

"Would you like anything to eat?" I asked. "I don't exactly have anything Vulcan, but I do make a wicked bowl of cereal. If pressed, I can even scramble some eggs." I teased.

"I ate before arriving here." He stated flatly. "But do not let myself interrupt your routine. Please, eat."

I nodded, pouring myself a quick bowl of cereal before sitting next to him on the sofa. Despite his protests that it wasn't, I felt very awkward eating next to him when he didn't have anything to eat. I scarfed down my food as a result, hoping that I didn't seem too eager or rushed.

As soon as I had leaned forward and set my bowl on the coffee table, Spock's arms wrapped around my middle and drew me to him.

"Not that I'm complaining," I smiled, "but why the sudden desire to cuddle?"

"Do I need a reason?" he asked, his expression genuinely confused.

"No!- I mean, of course not." I said quickly, "I was just wondering."

He acknowledged me, and buried his face in my hair as I was pulled onto his lap. I leaned to lay on his chest, perfectly happy to remain there forever. I was fascinated by the fact that a Vulcan, even if by half, was not only showing emotion, but expressing it openly and shamelessly. My brain didn't want to understand it, but I thought that it must have been because of his human mother that he was so affectionate.

It was a beautifully long while before either of us spoke.

"Do you wish to lie down?" he asked in a soft voice.

"Sure." I mumbled, sliding down the sofa and resting my head in his lap. His hand ran across my head, his fingers combing through my hair. I sighed in contentment and the utter rightness of it all. I glanced up at his face, to be met with a look of deep thought, and that same strange expression both on his face and burning in his dark brown eyes.

"I wish I could know what you're thinking." I whispered, not really intending for him to listen.

"Nothing of consequence." he murmured in return.

"It's just so hard to understand you sometimes. I mean, you do a good job of explaining yourself," I said, "But I just wish there was a way for me to understand the way you work- the way you think, so I wouldn't have to ask you all the time."

His expression remained thoughtful, until a slight flicker of enlightenment crossed.

"There may be." he said quietly, "But as you are human and not Vulcan, it would be a very intense sensation for you."

I thought for a moment before I realized what he spoke of.

"A mind-meld?"

"Yes. And I would never think of doing it unless you were absolutely certain that you wanted to." he said with a firmness, "It would be a total invasion of privacy otherwise."

"I see." I said slowly. "Before I do any deciding, though, was there anything else you needed or wanted to do today? I don't want to occupy all of your time needlessly."

"There is nothing at all for me to do," he said, "except spend my day with you."

"Oh." I said, "Um, would you mind if I took a quick shower? My hair feels gross, I'm sure."

"I wouldn't mind," he said, "But your hair is not, 'gross'."

"Awe thanks." I said, rising from the sofa and kissing his forehead, "But you're slightly biased."

"As are you." he mumbled before I was out of hearing range.

I don't remember taking a faster shower in my whole life. I had brought my clothing into the bathroom with me so Spock could sit in my bedroom. I didn't want him sitting awkwardly out in my living room with nothing at all going on, so we might as well be able to talk while I showered. When I was done, I dressed in a pair of seats and an old tee shirt. I had decided that I wasn't going anywhere, and if I did, I would have to be given a half-hour's notice if I was to look presentable.

"Interesting choice." Spock commented, taking in my clothing.

"Today shall be my lazy day." I said, leaping onto my bed and sitting cross-legged at the head while he sat at the foot. "I am not going anywhere, and if I must, I require a half an hour to look presentable." I stuck my tounge out, emphasizing my point.

"I do not see myself having to alter those plans." he said, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Have you made a choice?"

I nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yes, I have. I want you to do it."

He simply nodded, scooting to sit next to me at the head of my bed. My mind briefly took a field trip to the gutter, realizing that Spock was in my bed with me. He had taken his shoes off before climbing into my bed, and was sitting so close to me that our shoulders brushed. I cleared my mind of those thoughts before he would have a chance to read them. In a moment, he had placed his fingers on my face, their cool touch almost making me ticklish.

In a flash, I was brought through an abbreviated version of his childhood and his time in the Academy Conflicting emotions arose in me, and it took me a moment to realize that they were not my own, but his. I was brought forward to the first mission aboard the Enterprise, and the destruction that branched from that. I witnessed the planet Vulcan crumbling in upon itself, and my tears sprang forth. Tears that perhaps Spock wanted to cry, but did not. Tears for his people, his culture, and his mother. I could feel his free arm wrap around mine, giving a reassuring squeeze. As time progressed, I could feel his mutual respect and admiration for Captain Kirk, and the friendship that they were building.

His months at the academy as a professor, and the first semester of last year. The students did not engage themselves, thus leaving the feeling of disappointment and bitterness. Then, he showed me when he first saw me. The last semester of last year. I was the first human to really engage in the class, asking questions and answering his own intelligently. Respect formed slowly, and an eventual protectiveness. Around the time that Robertson and I had split it off, leaving me in tears during class one day, something resembling fury resided in him for the one that had done this to his star student. I was taken aback at how strongly he had felt about me. Throughout the course of the end of that quarter, and the whole of the last quarter, his feelings strengthened, leading up to finals day. After the finals, his nearly uncontainable fury at Robertson overwhelmed me, making me shudder involuntarily.

I was taken to a board meeting just before graduation day, and various Captains and their First Officers discussed which new graduates they wished to recruit. Spock was given a choice for a new assistant, and three far more qualified graduates popped up along with myself. Without so much as batting an eye, he had selected me. His confidence and pride in me made me want to cry again, knowing that I didn't deserve half of it. I got a brief feeling that we would talk about that later.

Flashing forward to Nibiru, and when he was stuck in the volcano. He knew that he was going to die, and for a moment, the feeling of loss, regret, and sadness overwhelmed me so intensely that I once again clung to Spock. His arm rubbed up and down my back in comfort, my consciousness only barely realizing that I was now lying down.

In the conference room, he had just received notification that I was the one hailing his comm when it was shattered to a million pieces right in front of him. When we had met again in the shuttle, and I had broken down and cried, hugging him, I only just now knew how badly he had wished to return the gesture, to press his lips to my hair. A wish he denied himself on the belief that I did not want him like that. His confusion when I had left the bridge unexplained. Following me out, and finding my true feelings. The relief and relaxation that washed over me was enough to cause me to release all the tension in my shoulders. The joy at finally being able to hold me in his arms, without risk of offending me. I almost snorted. As if it ever would have offended me. When we reached Qo'noS, he reiterated through the meld all that he had said in the shuttle, the denial of his feelings for the sake of not breaking apart.

When Carol and I had gone down to the planetoid. The fear of losing me in the torpedo's explosion, his own anger at not being able to help in any way. Again when Carol and I had been beamed to the enemy ship. Not knowing where I was, if I was ok, or if I was in grave danger. Seeing the Captain in Khan's hands was bad enough, but when he had seen me behind him, my eyes red and puffy from denying tears, his anger was provoked. After I had been beamed back onto the Enterprise, relief spread through me a marginal amount, only to be replaced with more fear and anger as he saw me enter the bridge with a brace. My wrist throbbed in memory, and his hand was on it in an instant, rubbing small circles into it.

I remembered my own frustration and desperation with the failing power to my station, and my final attempts to help Sulu keep the ship right. When I had been pitched out of my chair, I felt his confusion and slight panic at myself being insecure, sitting next to his chair. The moment I had been placed into the captain's chair, his arms wrapped securely around me, I felt both his my own resignation to death, and our mutual contentment in being in each other's arms at that moment.

I felt such intense sorrow, grief and anguish wash through me that I thought my heart would explode. My brain was on fire, trying to comprehend the depths of the emotions swirling around me. Kirk lay motionless in front of my eyes, my own sobs echoing in the background. The grief I felt was overwhelmed by fury burning hotter than any volcano.

The fight between Khan and himself was brief. Panic surged through me as I recalled my own surprise at the dire position Spock was in when I arrived. Pure fear coursed through me when Spock saw me, phaser in hand. Fear that I would be hurt by the madman, or worse, killed.

I was pulled out of the ocean of emotions to relatively simple ones. We were sitting in the med bay, each of us being attended to. The lift began, and my cheeks flushed red. When he kissed me, one of the strongest waves of emotion rolled through me. At first, I didn't understand it, it was so complex. But after a split second, I realized what it truly was.

Love.

My heart began to swell, pure happiness and joy overwhelming even myself at this realization. He really did love me, just as much as I loved him. I wrapped my arms around him, drawing him tighter, and kissed him with a passion. It took me a moment to realize that the meld had been broken, and that we were now just laying in my bed, my own legs tangled around his as my arms held him as close as I could and my lips captured his. His hands made their way to my face, cradling it as my own buried themselves in his hair. Silky-smooth, I enjoyed stroking it even after we parted.

When the heat of the moment had passed, I hastily untangled my legs from his, but remained huddled into his chest. His warm breath on the top of my head was most comforting, and though traces of the emotion from the meld still remained, my mind was quieting once again.

"Did you find the meld useful?" he murmured, his voice lower than usual.

I nodded. "Yes."

"If anything was too strong, I apologize." He said, "Emotions are part of the meld, though I tried to keep my own contained for your sake."

"It was fine, Spock." I said, happy to be able to call him such without any awkward feeling. "It really did give me insight to the way you operate, even without showing your emotions for everyone to see. That's something I envy of you, actually."

"Continue." he said, leaning back a small amount to see my face better.

"Well, it's just that I've always 'worn my heart on my sleeve' so to speak. I've always been very vocal and expressive of what I'm feeling." I paused, "I get embarrassed because of how much I show them to everyone, even those I don't want to. I just wish at times that I could just be like you."

"Do not be ashamed." he said, "The open expression of emotion is one thing that all humans share. Just because you feel you have an inability to mask them does not make you weak. I believe it makes you stronger. You obviously are not afraid of showing what you think. As for myself, even vocal expression of feeling is entirely new for me. The physical affection that I show is such foreign territory, I can foresee myself becoming quite lost."

"Good thing you've got me." I teased, poking his nose. "I can show ya what it's all about."

"A point that I am relying heavily upon." he said.

For the longest while, there was only silence, mixed with our breathing. I was almost scared to do anything, scared to ruin this perfect moment that had been my desire for what felt like the longest time. Even before I really fell for him, I always had an attraction to the science officer. Whether it was for his intelligence, or his equally impressive physique, I wasn't sure. It didn't really matter to me now. I had both.

**O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O**

**I hope you all enjoyed this! sorry for the awkward chap endings recently, I'm having a hard time separating stuff...**


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